Sunday, August 31, 2003		Ulta-pulta

RECENTLY a look-alike of BJP MP Shatrughan Sinha, walked in and out of Parliament, unnoticed. TV news channel Aaj Tak, which had engineered this entire episode, wanted to expose the lapse in our security. I was upset by the entire episode. If I had a little more time, I would have asked the channel who gave them the right to make a laughing stock of our greatest democratic institution, the Parliament?

Let us presume that a security guard is suspicious whether the L.K. Advani in front of him is asli or naqli. What will he do — try pulling Advaniji’s moustache to see whether if is fake or real, or go in for a DNA test? Or when Shatrughan Sinha enters the gate, the security personnel, after checking his credentials, could politely request him, "Sir apni film Kalicharan ke dialogue suna dejeye. We want to check whether you are the real Shatrughan Sinha or not!" If they find any difference in the dialogue delivery, they can detain him for further interrogation.

Some day we’ll come to know that the security guards have detained the PM, Vajpayeeji. "Sir, unless you recite a few times of poetry in your slow and hesitant voice, we will not be convinced that you are the real Atal Bihari Vajpayee!"

If in this entire duplicate-Shatrughan Sinha episode, there is a security lapse, then the duplicate is also not entirely innocent either. Look-alikes of film stars are supposed to exhibit their skills on the screen and not in real life. What if a ‘duplicate’ minister inaugurates a project, while the ‘real’ minister sits at home?

Soniaji didn’t realise this, but she could have used this episode for winning the no-confidence motion by claiming that more than half of the NDA MP’s were duplicates.

Aaj Tak has definitely given MPs the idea that all of them should have duplicates, in fact they should be officially allotted one each. In the Parliament, where only slogans have to be shouted, pandemonium to be created and walkouts to be staged, what is the need of the real MPs? Their duplicates would do just as well. There’s only one drawback in this system — the real minister might get cheated. "Oh no! My duplicate has run away with the bribe I was supposed to get!"