Sunday, August 24, 2003		Lessons From Life

Dear Sister Anne Marie,

I am not sure if you will remember me, in fact I’m certain you will not — not because I was not one of those topping-the-class type but because I was in the school (Loreto Convent, Ranchi) for merely a year, in class nine.

Sister, I have thought of you many times in these past 20 years. I liked your dusky and pleasant features, though felt a little intimidated by your erect posture, fast gait and no-nonsense approach. Our section always felt that you never lost an opportunity to tick us off. Since the other section had higher science and we had lower science, we presumed that you thought we were non-serious. The other section may have scored over us most of the times and an equal number of times we may have accused you of favouring that non-controversial class but all 40 of us knew within our hearts that you cared for us. How can I forget the concern you showed when you learnt that my father had been taken ill and admitted to a hospital in Kolkata. You held special prayers during morning assemblies. You even asked me to spend Thursdays (a holiday in the school beside the usual Sunday) with you when you learnt that my mother was with my father. You did not want me to be alone in the house while my brother went to school.

I have many things to thank you for`85one of them being to make me feel cared for and wanted as a newcomer.

Being the Vice-Principal you often took the assembly. While addressing the senior students, your common refrain would be that commonsense was seriously lacking in the senior section. Chastened we would stand before you but the reprimand would always be taken with a pinch of salt. We knew that in another few months we would be moving to Class X and you would then treat us as adults and with the consideration we thought we truly deserved. As if reading these thoughts, you announced the decision to hold a special meeting for us. And what you said at that meeting has been one of the most valuable lessons of my life. You said that we would go to the next class only if we were ready for it. Even if we passed the examinations but were not mentally, emotionally and physically ready for it, we would be held back. In the report card, you stressed, it would be written "ready for Class X" and not promoted to Class X. What touched me even then was that at a time when most schools were only concerned with their results and performance, you could talk about our overall growth. The message sent by you was that you did not care for marks as much as you cared for us. The emphasis on the importance of being responsible and having a strong and mature mind not only enabled all of us to do well in the examination but also helped me cope with my father’s illness.

When my son was being admitted to his present school three years ago, the school authorities asked what were my expectations from the school. The first thought that came to me was: Make him ready to face the world outside.

Then again the other day I thought of you when my son’s teacher sounded me that he was not doing well in class. Taken aback by the complaint, I mumbled, "But he has been studying`85even getting stars and goods in English, Maths." "That may be Ok," she said in a tone wearing thin of patience, "but he’s paying no attention to his drawing and even his Hindi teacher is extremely unhappy with him. His handwriting is untidy. And when these two teachers exchange notes with other teachers in the staff room then they too will form a bad impression of him. Well, I’m just warning you, see what you can do about it."

My first reaction to the complaint was that of anger at my 6-year-old. How many times had I told him to colour and write neatly? The next moment, however, I was calmed by the thought that when people tell you you’re bad at something you are never so bad and when they say you are the best you are never so. What disturbed me was why so much weight was attached to marks, to visible signs of performance? Why do evaluations talk only of academic results? Why should the impression created by a 6-year-old determine the teachers’ friendly or unfriendly stance towards him? Isn’t the impression that the child carries of the teacher of greater consequence? Isn’t it that the said and unsaid messages delivered by the teacher, ideally of unconditional love, what help decide and determine the child’s performance?

Again, Sister, I was glad for your words`85 they not only made me raise these questions but also gave me the assurance that I had the answers to my queries.

Yours truly,

Gitanjali Sharma