"Moreover, there is a bathing ghat on its left like in all Hindu temples," he continues. "Do you know that water drips from the roof on the gave of Mumtaz... like it falls on a Shivling? Clearly, it was a Shiva temple before ShahJahan decided to build a marble mausoleum around it!"

At the Qutab Minar in Delhi, there is Govind Arya who is equally intent upon leaving his mark on history. He even warns you that if what he says is written in a school exam "you would certainly fail" -before spinning some fantastic yarns.

"It is believed that Qutab Minar was made by Qutubuddin Aibak," he begins. "That is completely wrong. It took Prithviraj Chauhan 15 years to build this structure as an observatory. When Prithviraj lost the battle in 1191, Mohammad Ghauri made Qutubuddin Aibak his viceroy. He demolished all Hindu temples and palaces, but did not touch the tower because he knew that it could be useful later."

Arya goes on the narrate that when archaeologists dug around the site, "24 marks like a clock" were found at a depth of 25 feet. "This proves that the Qutab Minar was a sun dial," the ‘authorised guide’ concludes. "It was also a watch tower used by astrologers to study the stars. The doors on every floor face east so as to facilitate surya namaskar every morning!"

These attempts at distorting history with a pro-Hindu slant might go well with the ruling Bharatiya Janata Party and its allies at the Centre. But oddly enough, the government disowns any responsibility about tourist guides, authorised or otherwise.

"We don’t have tourist guides on our payrolls as of now," insists Rajiv Talwar, chairman of Delhi Tourism Development Corporation. "For the future though, we have plans to appoint guides for the Qutab Minar, Jantar Mantar and Humayun’s Tomb. I agree, there is a need to have a standardized system of certified guides available at specific kiosks."

Officials of the Archaeological Survey of India (ASI) are equally emphatic about not authorising any guide to take tourist around and such activities are completely illegal and could invite penal action. Plans to appoint "ASI-approved guides" are, however, in the offing and should be implemented soon.

Till then, the likes of Arya and Phool Chand will have to live by their wits and ill-informed sense of history. They have no identify cards and their knowledge begins and ends at the site where they operate-as in the case of Naresh Sharma at Jaipur’s Amer Palace.

A serious-looking young man, he rattles off the names of the Jaipur rulers in chronological order - from Man Singh to Jai Singh to Bhawani Singh... But ask him about Man Singh Tomar, who ruled neighboring Gwalior around the same time and Sharma is clueless.

Still, pleading ignorance is better than blundering about on facts as Amit Sengar does at Agra Fort: "The fort was built by four Mughal kings - Akbar, Jehangir, ShahJehan and Aurangzeb. Then came Bhahadur Shah Zafar, Aurangzeb’s son. First Bharatpur king Surajmal Jat attacked the fort in 1764, then the British attacked and then the government attacked."

Which government? Since when did Bahadur Shah Zafar become Aurangzeb’s son? How could Surajmal Jat be around in 1764? Why should the British have attacked Agra Fort when they already had Bahadur Shah imprisoned in the Red Fort?

There are no answers to these questions. MF