Sunday, July 27, 2003		Ulta-pulta

MENTION the word ‘airhostess’ and the image that immediately comes to your mind is that of a smart and fashionable young woman who smilingly asks you in the sweetest of voices, "Sir what will you have, tea or coffee?" But when the reference is to an Indian Airlines airhostess, you immediately think of a grumpy 40-45-year-old fatigued woman who has her hands folded in a namaskar. It’s quite possible that she might be wishing you namaskar and looking somewhere else.

A lot of people think that the appearance of these airhostesses must be adversely affecting Indian Airlines business, but it is not so. My wife prefers Indian Airlines whenever she travels by air with me. She is convinced that only on an Indian-Airlines flight, I wouldn’t be caught staring at the airhostess.

Few days back, the Supreme Court upheld the decision that Indian Airlines airhostesses should be relieved from flight duties when they are 50 years old. Many people feel that airhostesses shouldn’t be above 35 years of age. In my opinion airhostesses can easily work up to the ripe old age of 70. There are lot of advantages of having elderly airhostesses:

(i) With elderly airhostesses the pilot can concentrate wholly on flying.

(ii) During an emergency, she can help you say your prayers and do path-pooja.

(iii) Women who travel with their husbands will feel more secure because their husbands will not stare at any of the airhostesses.

(iv) When the airhostesses give toffees to children, the kids will be reminded of their nanis and dadis.

During a flight an elderly passenger was just about to have his food when he remembered he had left his false teeth at home. The Indian Airlines airhostess quickly removed her dentures and gave it to the old gentleman. He was so moved that he solemnly pledged, "From today I will always travel by Indian Airlines!"