Now that they are old, nobody cares anymore
Reeta Sharma

THERE she sat in a worn-out suit and frayed dupatta on her head. Her slippers too appeared to be competing with her suit in wear and tear. If she had met me on the road, I would have certainly mistaken her to be a poverty-stricken maidservant.

But 80-year-old Manjit Kaur is not a poor woman, if you count her worldly means. However, she is extremely poor in terms of receiving love and respect.

Manjit Kaur was married to Atma Singh in 1947. Unfortunately, he passed away in 1953 at prime of his youth, leaving behind a son and a daughter to be brought up by her. With meagre means, she not only educated her children but also built a 100-sq yd house at Doraha in Ludhiana district in 1968. She had worked as a labourer in building this house to save the expenditure. Her daughter, Iqbal Kaur, was eventually married. But the son took to objectionable company and alcohol. He died an alcoholic five years ago. The death of her son only added to her miseries.

"For the past five years, I have been literally living in hell. My grandsons, Gurinderpal Singh (Shunty) and Balinderpal Singh, and their families have been physically torturing me. They want me to either die or just leave the house. I have brought up these grandsons... they have played in my lap. But today they throttle me, shove me around and punch me in the face and stomach. The hands which were supposed to bring relief to my aging body generate only fright, excruciating pain and nightmares. All they want is money and my house," rues this octogenarian with tears in her eyes.

Manjit Kaur receives a monthly pension of Rs 3,000. In case she had rented her three-storeyed house, she could have added to her income another Rs 3,000 to Rs 4,000 and led a comfortable life with an attendant. She discloses that not only are her grandsons and their families forcibly living in her house but they are also forcing her to leave the premises.

"Many times other people have intervened but in vain. Ultimately, I had to lodge a complaint with the police. The DSP was very understanding. He provided me with a security guard. The constable stayed with me but now he has been transferred to Sahnewal. Meanwhile, I had to knock at the doors of the court. I have filed a petition in Khanna for the eviction of my grandsons and their families from my house. Four years have passed but the court has not yet given me any relief, and the harassment by my grandsons continues. They even tried to electrocute me but fortunately there was no current in the wires." This incident generated so much fear in her mind that she took shelter in the local gurdwara. Her grandsons, however, chased her there too.

Her grandchildren are not the only ones taking advantage of her haplessness and old age. One LIC agent also cheated her. She had Rs 1.5 lakh in her post office account that she had received as her husband’s provident fund and gratuity. Since she did not know how to withdraw that money, this agent misled her and made her sign a couple of withdrawal forms so that every month he could withdraw the money on her behalf.

"For two months he gave me the money that I wanted. Then from the third month, he began making excuses. And finally when one day I went to the post office, they told me that all the money had already been withdrawn. I went to the police. When the agent was caught, he confessed that he had withdrawn all the money. He promised to return the amount in instalments. But, perhaps, could not. And one day, he just committed suicide."

This case is no aberration. There are a number of such old people who are going through a harrowing time as a result of the greed of their kith and kin. Not only is crime against them on the rise but so is the incidence of their desertion by their kith and kin. The vulnerability of the old is being exploited.

Robbery, dacoity and murder are matters which can easily be passed to the police under the title ‘crime’. However, when crime is committed by one’s own kith and kin, it cannot be dealt with the stick of the law. The police and the courts, provided they act swiftly, may bring superficial relief but there is no law that can ensure love and respect for the old by their family members.

Now the moot question is why the most loving of dadis and nanis, dadas and nanas are being hated, ill-treated, deserted and even physically intimidated? Domestic violence against the aged reminds me of parents or elders or teachers beating up children. Just as the little ones are incapable of protecting themselves from the violence perpetuated by adults, so are the aged unable to save themselves from their kith and kin.

Although organisations like Helpage India and other NGOs and religious institutions have tried to create platforms which come to the aid of the deserted and poor old people but all these are inadequate options for the burgeoning population of the aged in the country. It is not only the breaking of the joint family system which has caused such a situation, but also the degeneration of the values that focused on strengthening bonds with the old in the family. Today, children are neither taught nor encouraged to respect and love the old.

Unless young parents inculcate in their children respect for their grandparents, they will never grow up into loving and caring human beings. No law can generate these feelings.