Monday, July 14, 2003		Cyber Humour

‘I Love You’ variants
From Sunil Sharma

Security experts and federal government authorities warn that offspring of the dangerous e-mail virus are now on the loose. As a public service, we present the following list of "I Love You" variations and how to recognise them:

• The "I Love You, But I’m Shy" virus never actually invades your computer but collects data about it worshipfully from afar.

• The "Love The One You’re With" virus hangs around your computer, but the whole thing is just temporary until it can find the computer that it really wants to invade.

• The "Happily Married" virus invades only one computer and stays with it for life.

• The "Unhappily Married" virus spends a long time negotiating with a computer, finally invades it, and then strays to other computers from time to time.

• The "I Want A Divorce" virus sends repeated, hard-to-read messages that your computer isn’t working and takes half of your computer’s best data in an ugly network session.

• The "Stalker" virus spends unnatural amounts of time monitoring your computer, collecting data your computer has thrown away and tries to record all of its functions.

• The "Forever Single" virus causes your computer to focus solely on other computers that are totally incompatible with it.

• The "Deadbeat Dad" virus invades your computer, spawns an entirely new database, then refuses to help update it as it grows.

Techies as hubbies

The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men. The ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers. However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being, well, a little strange. While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."

Culled from the Net