120mph into 4th gear; 5th at 145mph. The
engine is screaming, trying to leap out of the bonnet when it reaches
170mph. The scenery is a green blur, the G-force has him pinned in the
seat. In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a level crossing
are beginning to come down and she will have to slow down (he thinks!)
instead the pitch of the engine increases.
Hundred yards from the
crossing she slams on the brakes and the car stops inches from the
barrier.
"Can you smell
it?" she says.
With a trembling voice he
said "Smell it? I'm sitting in it!"
Wedding anniversary
Bill was a crotchety old
fellow who always took breakfast with his wife. He would read the
morning paper while she fumed at his neglect, and today of all days
because it was their 25th wedding anniversary.
She fumed, "Bill! Put
down that paper and let's talk about how we are going to celebrate our
wedding anniversary today. What do you suggest?"
Bill put his newspaper
down, removed and polished his glasses, stared for a moment into the
distance, then said with a sigh, "How about two minutes of
silence?"
About arguments
Two husbands were
discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted
that there were arguments sometimes.
One of them said,
"I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the
last word."
"Wow!" said the
other, "How do you manage that?"
"It's easy," he
replied. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'"
Disappointment
A crusty old man went into
the bank and asked for $250.00 in ones and fives. As the line behind him
grew, the teller laboriously counted out the money and passed it over.
The old man said, "I believe I'll count that myself." As the
line stretched out of the door, he slowly counted the money a second
time. "Well," said the irritated teller when he finished,
"it's all there, isn't it?"
"Yes," answered
the old man, "but just barely."
(Culled from the Net
by Sunil Sharma)
|