Monday, June 16, 2003		Cyber Humour

Filmi PC rules
From Sunil Sharma

1.Word processors never display a cursor.

2.You never have to use the space bar when typing long sentences.

3.Movie characters never make typing mistakes.

4.All monitors display inch-high letters.

5.Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by typing "Access all secret files" on any keyboard.

6.Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "Upload virus."

7.All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain’s desktop computer, even if it’s turned off.

8.Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn’t go faster than you can read. The ‘really’ advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.

9.Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backwards.

10.People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.

11.A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

12.Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.

13.When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

14. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it’ll be readable by any system you put it into.