Sunday, June 8, 2003		Life Ties

A cute bonny baby, Ashish, the male child born in the Kapoor clan after two decades, was pampered by the entire extended family.

All his movements were recorded on camera, while an artist aunt volunteered to do a series of black-and-white sketches on him to capture all the changes in his facial expressions. An active child who loved outdoor activity, he forged ties with people spontaneously.

No body thought that the nagging pain in the knees, Ashish complained of, would lead to a permanent disability. A series of tests and medications followed. By the time he was nine years old, it was obvious that the doctors were unable to diagnose the exact nature of his problem. A chance holiday to the USA led them to one of the best surgeons in the field who finally told them Ashish was suffering from muscular dystrophy.

His knee muscles were getting weaker and the process of deterioration was going to be rapid. They would have to prepare themselves and help the child to accept that he would shortly be unable to do things which other boys his age did. Chances of restorative results with physiotherapy would be limited. There was no escaping the fact that Ashish would be confined to a wheel chair for the rest of his life with ineffective lower limbs.

Stoically, the family accepted the verdict. They had been to the best doctors and knew that if anything only a miracle could save their precious son. They thanked god for not taking away his capacity to think. They knew that he would do them proud in whatever he did. He had a maturity beyond his years.

From his favourite aunt, he imbibed the art of sketching and some of his pieces featured in the best art magazines. He shared an intense rapport with her. A spinster who always had pets in the house, she had told Ashish's parents to get him a pup but his mother couldn't bear the thought of a pup jumping all over the house. But when Ashish pointedly asked for one, she couldn't say no to him, for he so rarely asked for anything for himself. He undertook the responsibility of looking after the pup. During his adolescent years, it was Rusty, his brown-eyed cocker spaniel who was a close companion. Looking after his every need and receiving his unconditional love gave Ashish's life a new meaning.

Meanwhile, Ashish developed his web-designing skills. He applied to foreign universities and got a scholarship to study abroad. Even though his parents worried as to how he would manage on his own, Ashish wanted to see if he could become independent without allowing his handicap to hamper his all-round growth.

The next five years were spent in studying and acquiring skills in the field of computer technology. He came to India once in two years and his family was amazed to see that he had turned out to be a handsome young man who was sensitive, had a great sense of humour and was an empathetic listener.

On one of his trips, he met Antara, his neighbour's daughter. Waif-like, she was drawn to him like a magnet and they had animated discussions and laughed with a great sense of camaraderie. Ashish had studiously avoided a serious commitment with a girl for he knew that neither did he have the right to demand a lifelong duty-bound obligation from her nor could he handle the rejection when it came. Antara was different. His mind, for once, allowed flights of fancy to build and he often caught himself dreaming of being deliriously happy with her. However, he would never try and give them any real direction. Which is why he was taken aback when she definitively proposed marriage to him. Like him, she was candid about her feelings and did not know how to play hide and seek. She told him upfront that she genuinely loved him and was convinced that they were meant to be together.

They truly made a beautiful couple, complimenting each other perfectly. Before going to the USA, they decided to leave Rusty with the parents, since Ashish's mother had become extremely attached to him. His parents missed him and during this time, without their realising it, Rusty linked them to their son. They sought answers to questions that kept clouding their vision: Why did this disease have to afflict their only child ? How would the future years shape up for him ? Would he be able to have a family ?

When Rusty fell ill and the doctors said, "If you want to free him from suffering, you have to put him to sleep," they were horrified. They could never do that. Somewhere the link again was made between Rusty and Ashish. Just because a limb becomes useless and the person gets reduced to becoming less productive, you don't discard him.

When Ashish was due to make his annual visit they were worried at how he would react seeing Rusty’s state. Their fears were allayed when both the children sat them down and talked about it at length. "It was fine to hang on to hope provided there was scope for improvement. When the verdict was so final it was best to accept it and act wisely on it. To see someone you love so much, writhing in constant pain, it is best to liberate him. With that you are doing yourself a favour too by freeing yourself of guilt. The good news is that we are going to become parents. Till we are alive, well and together nothing can take away the precious moments that make up our life. Let go of Rusty and move with us to the States. I have an assignment in Silicon Valley and I want you now to travel the world without worrying for anybody, least of all for me." The entire family mourned for Rusty just the way one would for one's own. They partnered with an NGO to set up a little home for abandoned stray pups and Ashish took the responsibility of raising funds for them as a fitting tribute to the brown-eyed angel who had given them unconditional love.