Old and rich

AN elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, "I was going to park there!" The man said mockingly, "That's what you can do when you're young and bright."

Well, this really upset the lady even more, so she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes. The young man ran back to his car and asked, "What did you do that for?" The old lady smiled and told him, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich!"

One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn't stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor. After the doctor listened to all that the father had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full.

"Here's the problem," the doctor said. "He needs a change." The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!"

A mother travelled 2,000 miles to be with her only son on the day he was to receive his Air Force wings and also get married.

"It was wonderful," she said later. "It isn't every day that a mother watches her son receive his wings in the morning and have them clipped in the evening."

Polish remover

One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him. The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are you that she is going to kill you? Did she threaten you?"

"No," replied the nervous immigrant.

"Did you hear her tell someone else that she's going to kill you?"

"No."

"Did someone tell you that your wife is going to kill you?"

"No."

"Then why in God's name did you think she's going to kill you?" asked the exasperated police officer.

"Because I found a bottle on dresser and I think she going to poison me!"

He handed the police officer the suspect bottle. The police officer took one look at the label on the bottle and started to laugh out loud.

The immigrant became indignant and said, "What's so funny?

Can't you see the label on the bottle says "Polish Remover."

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)