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Coffee attack Officers at a military installation were being lectured on a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks. Suddenly, he saw one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You’ll have to get rid of that coffee." The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?" "Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard." One-liners What is a computer’s first sign of old age? Loss of memory. What does a baby computer call his father? Data. What is an astronaut’s favourite key on a computer keyboard? The space bar. What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk. Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat. What is a computer virus? A terminal illness. PC facts To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. My computer isn’t that nervous. It’s just a bit ANSI. The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord. Floral apology A man stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for his wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on his bouquet, another man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses. "I’m sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch." The desperate customer turned to the other man and begged, "May I please have those roses?" "What happened?" the first man asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?" "It’s even worse than that," the second man confided. "I crashed my wife’s hard drive." Culled from the Net |
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