Monday, April 21, 2003		Cyber Humour

Blonde’s e-mail
From Sunil Sharma

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

Without emotions

A colleague was having a hard time operating her desktop computer. It was apparent that she had reached the end of her patience when she muttered at the screen, "I know one thing. If I had a glass face like you do, I’d sure behave better."

Terminology redefined

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

State-of-the-art - Any computer you can’t afford.

Obsolete - Any computer you own.

Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

G3 - Apple’s new Macs that make you say, "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."

Syntax error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."

Hard drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.

GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")

Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Portable computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

Power user - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

System update - A quick method of trashing ALL your software.