Sunday, April 13, 2003		Life Ties

Trying to break a pattern
Taru Bahl

THE entire town was stunned when Mayur and Avni's marriage ended in a divorce. Their college romance, a part of campus folklore, had 'inspired' subsequent generations. After a prolonged battle for the custody of her son, Dhruv, Avni finally managed to win the case. Dhruv was legally assigned to her care. Mayur's parents had taken the 'defeat' badly and given their clout, it was best she left town to make a new beginning. All she wanted was to protect Dhruv and instil values in him.

Though the Verma household reeked of affluence, power and authority, there was an underbelly of suppressed violence and decadence, along with a disregard for the others’ sentiments. Shikaars, mujras, night-long parties dominated by liquor and womanising, were legitimately, a part of their lifestyle. The menfolk did not work. Their addas began in the afternoons and got converted into mehfils at night. Not only were zamindaars or the rich and famous seen at these do's but also administrators, law enforcers and local politicians. Within an year of marriage, her dictatorial father-in-law 'inducted' her husband into the clan's charmed circle.

To see her husband as a spineless man when it came to following guidelines from the 'high command’, hurt Avni. His weak-willed temperament was such a contrast to the fiery debator’s persona he had projected in college. They had shared aspirations of going overseas to explore avenues in environmental science. She tried hard to find some traces of the Mayur she had fallen in love with and been wooed by, but it was difficult because he had become exactly what his father and uncles wanted him to be.

After six years of struggling to ‘normalise' things for her son, she took the step of walking out in the dead of night with just her son and a heart full of uncertainty. The two ensuing years were tough since the battle for the child’s custody, as expected, was bitter.

Thankfully, once she won the case and moved town, the demons of the past gradually blurred and she was relieved when she heard that Mayur had re-married.

She picked up a teaching job because along with a modest salary came with the bonus of free education for Dhruv and accommodation within the school premises. This ensured her security and anonymity. She gradually pieced together her life and found some comfort in the adulation of her students. A committed teacher, she worked beyond structured hours and tutored the weak students free of cost. Along the line, her commitment to the job took precedence over the time she spent with Dhruv.

Being a single parent, she nursed the guilt that she had deprived him of a comfortable lifestyle. Although he had been spared the visions of decadence, he still had to make do with just the bare minimum. At a time when acquisitions were flaunted even by tiny tots, he kept up a brave front. He swallowed the insults and tried hard not to let her feel guilty. As he entered his teen years, she saw that he had shed the 'hunted' look that he had earlier donned and, instead, now exuded confidence. He had inherited his father's good looks and one could see that he was quite a favourite with his social circle. She felt proud and happy to see her son's popularity.

Initially, she didn't mind his being on the phone all the time, sometimes late into the night as well. When girls started calling up, she told herself that it was absolutely normal for boys of that age. She wondered if he had a steady girl friend but the slight formality of their relationship prevented her from inquiring. The thought of having a candid chat with him on the importance of responsible sexual behaviour did cross her mind. How she missed Mayur on these occasions because only a father can bond and discuss these "man-to-man issues". Or so she thought.

Avni's social interaction was largely restricted to get-togethers at colleagues' homes where conversation usually veered around gossipy tales about school politics or their husbands and in-laws. When some of them lamented over the trouble they were having with their adolescent sons and daughters, she empathised with them but felt relieved that at least her Dhruv was not like that. He was till a baby who could never do anything to hurt his mamma, knowing fully well how difficult it had been to bring him up.

It came as a surprise when she was summoned by his class teacher and shown pornographic literature that had been confiscated from Dhruv. When she confronted him, he convinced her that he had been framed by a group of boys who didn't like him. She believed him, not so much because circumstantial evidence proved it so but because she wanted to. Her life depended on the affirmation that her son was a nice guy.

The next shocker came when she was clearing his room and she stumbled on to a packet of condoms. Her son was in Class XI. He couldn't possibly be using them or indulging in intimate physical relations at this age when he should be focusing on what to make of his life. Once again, she ignored this tell-tale sign and did not address the possibility of his being promiscuous. As the days went by, she was forced to see things she had earlier ignored. Dhruv’s tuition classes extended to sessions late into the night. He bunked school and expensive perfumes and branded shirts in his possession were a part of a lifestyle much beyond his years.

She started keeping a vigil on his movements, cross-checked his appointments, tried to get discreet information from his friends and their parents. The results were astounding. Dhruv was embroiled in a serious cycle which revolved around girls-parties-drinking-sex. All these were inter-related, with each thriving on the other.

It was time to act. Whether she got in touch with Mayur and asked him to take charge or send him to boarding or explore the idea of consulting a counsellor for both him and her, she had to act fast to help him change tack. She too knew that if he got into the addictive habit of chasing skirts and having fun as the essence of good living, he was doomed, physically, financially, spiritually and emotionally. That cycle had to be broken.