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Sunday, April 6, 2003

Life Ties

The three musketeers
Taru Bahl

DEEPAK, Vikram and Mohinder were part of an inseparable trio in school. What bound them was the fact that they were new admissions in a class notorious for bullying. The only way they could survive and hope to excel was by sticking together. Between them, they lapped up all prizes be it for debates, football tournaments or academic achievement. Most of the students in their school belonged to the landed aristocracy in pre-Partition India. Since they belonged to the working class, they knew they had to work extraordinarily hard to gain their peers’ respect, teachers’ attention and community’s love. Studies, sports and extra-curricular activities became a mission with each of them taking to his chosen field of specialisation and giving it his 100 per cent. The three young lads consistently topped every year and when the time came to make forays into professional colleges, they made successful crossovers.

Mohinder made it to the IAS, Deepak joined the university as a sociology lecturer and Vikram took to journalism. They did not bid each other farewell for they knew that no amount of physical distance could dilute the essence of what they had shared during their growing years. They had allowed their relationships to mature like seasoned, vintage wine.

 
It was only when they retired from their respective professions did they converge towards Delhi, the city of their roots. Each had built a home there and it was logical that they return and enjoy their last leg of life in a place they were familiar with and felt a strong sense of belonging to. Life had however, taken them on a roller-coaster ride. They had been in touch throughout via new year greetings, occasional letters, gifts and meeting as and when it was possible. However, being physically in the same city and more easily accessible over the phone was now reassuring. Gradually, they created a system which allowed them to meet without inconveniencing their families.

Mohinder, after an agonising three decades of marital disharmony, finally separated from his wife. He had bought peace by paying a heavy alimony. His only son was married and settled in the USA. With the little money he was left with he bought a small country house in the suburbs, where he lived with his maid. He spent his days going to libraries and participating in classical music sittings – his two great passions. Deepak had led a cushy life and being a man of few needs was more than satisfied with the modest way in which his post retirement lifestyle shaped up. The shocker came in the form of his daughter-in-law and her family who cheated them by not disclosing her real age and academic qualifications, making their existence hellish when they pushed for divorce on grounds of incompatibility. After having led a distinguished life, they had to make the rounds of courts and judges and battle false charges, besides deal with the trauma of their son’s marriage gone sour. Vikram had worked hard during his youth, moonlighting with various advertising agencies, making an extra income to supplement his regular newspaper job to finance his daughters’ education abroad. Both had studied to become doctors and had passed out with flying colours. They did the most logical thing by doing their internship in the USA. Along the way they met, fell in love and married their classmates and chose to live on in America. Now at 75, Vikram and his wife, though relieved to see the girls happily married and settled, did feel insecure. For, when he had his emergency bypass surgery, there was no one to do the running around. Their daughters came much later and they were ineffective because they were not used to the chaotic way in which India functioned. Vikram’s wife had knee problems and Vikram was suffering from poor vision, making physical movement outside the house, an onerous task.

With the three of them well past 70, it was not easy finding time to take an old and slightly rusted friendship forward. They started off with the cursory dinner invitations, whereby one of them would call the other two over for a meal. However, the gesture required tremendous effort since they were dependent on factors beyond their control. Mohinder’s house was 20 km away from the city. His maid was an efficient homemaker but a passable cook. To lay out an elaborate meal was an ordeal. Deepak’s wife did not keep well, especially after her son’s divorce. She resented her husband’s "socialising" and "merry making" with old friends and felt excluded. Vikram clearly had financial constraints which the other two realised and did not wish to burden him with anything that stretched his comfort zone.

The three of them did not want their association to get restricted to sporadic dinner or luncheon sessions which were not a relaxed way of catching up. They had an honest heart-to-heart chat and decided to meet every Wednesday at their favourite library, which had a quaint garden restaurant. These weekly meetings became their lifeline. They worked out their schedules and transport arrangements, looking forward to their day out. Talking about politics, world affairs, books they had read, concerts they had attended, occasionally discussing family problems and at times giving into gastronomic indulgences which they were otherwise strictly to stay away from, made them feel like truant school boys once again. There was a pep in their spirit and bounce to their step, they felt younger and more in control.

Each exercised a healthy influence on the others, helping them put things in perspective, not holding any grudges and developing the ability to move on. Their unique bond allowed them to delve into those parts of their being which were almost forgotten. If Mohinder had become cantankerous, his interaction with the ‘boys’ helped him to tone down, develop his listening abilities and acquire a new-found patience, thereby bringing about a sea change in his relationship with neighbours and family members. Deepak had sunk into self pity. His narrow world view made him perceive his problems in an exaggerated manner. Talking to his soulmates gave him a feeling of centredness. Vikram, who was the frailest of the three, felt rejuvenated every time he undertook the physically arduous task of making their meeting possible. It opened the floodgates of his mind. His pen ran faster and articles acquired a sharper punch.

Unable to extend help since each was constrained with his own set of circumstances, they managed to create a support system that fostered companionship. By being there for each other, connecting daily via phone and meeting once a week, they gave their 60-year-old friendship, depth and meaning. Their grandchildren often pulled their leg calling them "Alexander Dumas’s Three Musketeers and ones who were thick as thieves".

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