When women get caught in match-fixing net
Reeta Sharma

IT is heartening to observe that March 8 — International Women’s Day — is increasingly acquiring the significance it deserves. A series of functions, both at the government and non-governmental level, were organised in the region (Punjab, Haryana and Chandigarh) this year to mark the day.

However, it was disappointing to note the psyche of men who scoffed at the observance of this day. The ill-conceived arguments given by such men were that despite it the fate of poor women has not changed and that crime against women continued to take place. They also said, "Why is there no special day for men? Surely, if the crime against men was as high as it is against women, we must observe a men’s day too."

It is high time such people paused to look at such days with a positive outlook. No one day dedicated to any cause can eradicate the problem. However, such days are used to highlight not only the problems but also the progress made in solving them over the previous year.

It was reassuring to note that so many organisations came forward to celebrate International Women’s Day. Besides the staging of plays highlighting women issues and holding talk shows, a number of functions were held to honour brave and outstanding women. Five young women were honoured by the International Human Rights Organisation at Ludhiana for displaying exemplary courage in fighting against harassment by those in power. The women included Saru Rana who challenged former Vice-Chancellor Punjabi University J. S. Ahluwalia for harassing her; Paramjit Kaur, an employee of PTU, who fought a pitched battle against former Vice-Chancellor of the University H. S. Gurum for sexually harassing her; Anurag Gill, who had taken a stand against indecent graffiti at Government College for Boys, Ludhiana; and Rajni Thakur, a student of Government Physical College, Patiala, and Nisha Bhatti, a student of Government Polytechnic for Women, Jalandhar, who had also fought for similar issues.

The Chandigarh Police took the lead in celebrating International Women’s Day. This is the only police force in the country besides the Maharashtra police which has a significant number of women on its rolls. It also goes to the credit of the Chandigarh Police that during the training period of recruits, it sensitises them about gender issues on a regular basis.

The Chandigarh Police observed International Women’s Day by holding a seminar on Marriages with NRIs—A Case of Match Fixing, on the Panjab University campus. A thought-provoking speech dwelling on the psyche of the male-dominated society and conditioning of women’s mind was delivered by Dr Rumina Sethi, Reader in the Department of English in PU. The ADGP, Punjab, Anil Bhatnagar, shared his experiences while investigating certain cases of such marriages. Amrita Kohli, a social activist, narrated a couple of cases wherein girls were cheated by their NRI husbands.

Before I go further, let us remember that it was on this day in 1856 that women had marched on the streets of New York protesting against the atrocious working conditions in the cotton and textile industries. Though the protesters were not violent, the police had opened fire at them. A few women died and hundreds were injured. These women had been protesting against child labour and poor working conditions, which caused respiratory ailments that resulted in early death of the labourers — many did not get to cross the age of 35. While their struggle continued, it was in 1910 that a German woman, Clara Jetkin, organised the first-ever International Democratic Women’s Front at Copenhagen in Sweden. It was at this conference that women unanimously paid a tribute to the struggle of the women workers of the cotton and textile industries by declaring March 8 as International Women’s Day. Later, the UNO also adopted it.

We, the Indian women, on this day remember M S Kamma of Bengal. Born into an aristocratic family, she forced her parents to send her to France for higher education. But once she left the country, the British did not allow her to return to her motherland and she died on foreign land. Kamma had represented her country at the Copenhagen meeting which had laid the foundation of the International Women’s Day.

The function organised by the Chandigarh Police threw up shocking facts. For example, if marriages with NRIs have turned out to be a boon for many, they have also spelt disaster for at least 8,000 brides, who have been deserted. This shocking number comes from police records. In addition, it can be said with certainty that there must be thousands of other cases that have not been reported.

The perspective of arranging marriages with NRIs has undergone a sea-change. In the early 1950s, the NRIs as well as the girls’ parents respected the institution of marriage. The ’60s, by and large, witnessed the continuation of this school of thought. However, the ’70s brought in a significant change, when dozens of cases were registered against NRIs for duping their brides. Since the 1980s, the number of cases of NRIs deserting their brides has been increasing.

In the last two decades, the parents of girls have been showing a certain kind of desperation for fixing matches for their daughters with NRIs alone. As against the ’50s and ’60s, when parents spent months in verifying the credentials of the prospective husbands for their daughters, they do not hesitate to grab any NRI today. They go ahead and arrange the marriage at short notice. It is not that the parents are in a hurry to dump their daughters. They actually wish to ride piggy-back on this alliance and settle their sons and others in foreign lands. This trend can be directly attributed to the consumerist and materialistic tendencies in Punjabis.

Since marriage is considered a ticket to foreign lands, I have no doubt that in a large number of cases daughters are being increasingly used as ‘sacrificial goats’ by their parents. How else do you explain the marriage of an 18-year-old girl to a 38-year-old NRI, twice divorced? There are a large number of cases where the girls are not only too young but also totally unaware of the degenerated scene of ‘marriages with NRIs’.

Here, I must say, even if such girls are ignorant, the parents cannot take the plea that they have been unaware of the complications of marriages with NRIs. I have travelled to Doaba, Majha and Malwa regions of Punjab, where I have come across a number of wives who have been deserted by their NRI husbands. Those who have not been taken abroad are being used literally as housemaids by their in-laws.