Monday, February 10, 2003		Feature

CYBER flings are increasing these days as men and women derive pleasure with strangers in cyberspace - thus resulting in breakdowns and problems in marriage and relationships.

Such Internet affairs are a growing threat to relationship and also becoming an increasing problem in marriage counselling, according to a report in News.com.au.

Perhaps merely looking for a little illicit excitement - at first - or something more, wives as well as husbands are meeting strangers in Web chat rooms.

As they are swept into the heady thrill of a fling, more of their time and energy is consumed, while their spouses are effectively left as Web widows.

Chat rooms catering for married persons are attracting thousands of would-be adulterers.

While some keep Internet affairs utterly virtual - and never meet their cyber-sex partner - one study has revealed online flings can be just as damaging to a relationship as the real thing.

Dr Monica Whitty from the University of Western Sydney who conducted the study found that more than half of the 1,117 respondents thought cyber cheating was the same as an affair. "In some ways, people divorce themselves from the infidelity being real," she said.

"There was a debate that Internet relationships are not real but I have found something contrary."

The study also revealed that Internet relationships are increasingly common with 36 per cent of respondents claiming to have had an online relationship.

One result that surprised researchers was that young persons were more intolerant of Internet infidelity than older persons. Dr Whitty also received more than 30 e-mails telling her of relationship breakdowns following an Internet affair. While some said their partners thought they were not doing anything disruptive to the relationship, others joined their partners in cyber cheating.

Couples seeking counselling after an Internet affair have vastly different reactions to the infidelity.

Jo Lamble, a clinical psychologist and co-author of the book Online and Personal, said the people she sees range from feeling distraught and betrayed while others say "how embarrassing, what an idiot".