Golf bet

A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, "Say, do we play for five bucks a hole?"

The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn't like to bet but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they're walking off, and while counting his $80, he confesses that he's the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers.

The first fellow reveals that he's the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the priest back his money. The priest says, "No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings." The pro says, "Well, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The priest says, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. Then, if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I'll marry them for you."

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property."

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "most days he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I never wanted a divorce. It's my husband. He says it's difficult to communicate with me."

— Sunil Sharma