That road rage alters the mental make-up of the person suffering from it, at least for the moment, is undeniable. The gentle Monica Luthra was shocked to the core one day when she heard her six-year-old daughter say about her teacher, "He’s a b…." "Where did you learn these filthy words?" demanded a profoundly horrified Monica. "Why, Mama, you’re always saying that to people when you drive me to school," explained the little girl.

But has Monica stopped using her colourful vocabulary after this salutary lesson from her daughter? "No", she unabashedly admits. "But I’ve stopped my daughter from using it. I can’t help being abusive while driving. It’s like a safety valve, you see! I still feel that that letting off steam this way is better than ramming into other vehicles, which is actually what I feel like doing!"

Aggression on the road can however take a much more serious turn than just verbal abuse. When it is combined with the dangerous cocktail of guns and liquor, it can lead to fatal consequences. A recent report in a newspaper said that a young man shot dead three persons in another car after heated arguments over a minor accident. The occupants of both the cars were drunk. The lethal mix of anger and violence was triggered off after a Maruti car driven by Jaswant and carrying his two friends hit a Zen, which led to a bitter quarrel between the occupants of the two cars. The issue was eventually settled but a stray comment by Jaswant and his associates caused another flare-up.

This apparently insignificant comment so angered the Zen occupants that they reversed the car, chased the Maruti and blocked its way. One of them whipped out a gun and shot the three in the chest at point-blank range. Another similar case took place on New Year’s Eve when an altercation between two groups of youth in a parking lot led to the savage castration and subsequent death of one of the boys.

Psychiatrists say that cases of this type result from a lack of impulse control. The feeling of ‘How dare anyone mess around with me!’ and ‘Let me teach him a thing or two about driving a car’ can lead to many a sticky situation. Leading psychiatrist Sanjay Chugh, says that the sense of exerting power heightens when you have a gun in your hand. The sense of power and machismo that comes from having a car and a gun can act as a trigger, flaring up even a semi-volatile situation which, in other circumstances, might have just ended with a slanging match. An incident of this type occurred when while driving over the DND flyover, Karan Singh’s car was almost shoved onto the curb by an Esteem overtaking from the wrong side. Enraged, Karan revved up, gave chase and forced the Esteem to come to a halt. Jumping out of his car, he angrily banged on the driver’s window to demand an explanation and apology. Before he knew it, the passenger door swung open and Karan felt a revolver pressed to his temple. "It was the most frightening experiences of my whole life," admits Karan. "Ultimately I ended up apologising and, apparently, I must have said the right thing because I was allowed to leave."

Aruna, an 18-year-old college student, however was not so lucky. She got into an argument with a group of boys who were harassing her on the road while she was driving back from college. She managed to hand them over to the beat constables and drove off feeling powerful. The very next day, two carloads of those boys along with their cronies found Aruna’s house. Aruna wasn’t home but her mother was. Aruna’s car was parked in the drive. Taking out crowbars, the boys proceeded to wreck Aruna’s car before her mother’s eyes and left with the message that they had spared Aruna because she was a girl, or else….

This incident is nothing else but a display of machismo on the road. This particular incident may also have occurred because of the perceived difference in the power level of the two parties involved. Such elements of power play have to be reckoned with while dealing with the alarming rise of the incidence of aggression at the wheel. How many times have we seen men jumping out of their car, dragging out an autowala and beating him up to within an inch of his life only because he hasn’t allowed them to overtake? Similarly, many a time you notice abuses being hurled at a middle-aged or an old driver who is not quick enough to start his car when the lights change. The reverse is not often true, that is that neither the poor auto driver nor the old man will take on a car full of men except when they lose their cool completely.

It isn’t true that road rage is confined to the male gender alone. Women too face stressful situations — misbehaviour on the road, traffic snarl-ups, appointments to be kept and deadlines to be met — the same situations that enrage the men. Indeed, in addition to the stress-causing situations similar to both male and female drivers, women have another specific problem to contend with while driving: the perceived feeling of gender superiority felt by male drivers. "The worst are the puppies and bus drivers," says Anuradha Singh, who does a fair amount of highway driving. "While on the highway, when I ask for a pass, I get it. But when the drivers who have been overtaken realise that a woman has overtaken them, they either begin to speed up or swerve dangerously to the right even when I’m in the process of overtaking…it’s very, very annoying." In fact, the contempt with which ‘female drivers’ are treated is usually unwarranted because usually women are more careful about their property and less prone to fits of bravado that come to men. This ‘contempt’ towards the woman driver possibly stems from the fact that they have stormed yet another male bastion, the holier of the holies, the automobile!

However, women are not placid and passive receivers of harassment on the roads. The driver of a Sumo while overtaking Shefali Chopra’s Maruti from the wrong side gave it a dent and then drove away. Shefali followed him and when the driver parked his car and went inside a house, she pulled out her steering lock, smashed his windscreen and drove off. "When I get even one scratch on my car, I get mad" says Shefali. Current statistics reveal that one in ten women exhibits fits of temper at least once a day and one in six even consider physical violence.

The root of rage lies in the fact that it’s hard for many of us to respect ourselves when we feel helpless, inadequate and powerless. When we are bullied on the road, we are faced with those feelings towards ourselves that undermine our self-respect and lead to feelings of contempt. So we call upon anger to replace these feelings of self-contempt and worthlessness with renewed self-respect.

The physical reason for road rage is that there is absolutely no respect for rules or for the others’ property. Vehicular rules are followed, not as a matter of habit or out of civic sense but for fear of fine or cops. Dr Dinesh Gupta’s (name changed) attitude shall tell its own tale. Gupta drives a Fiat and identifies vehicles on the road as those with which he can ‘take a panga’ and those with which he cannot. Says he, "When driving within the city, I can take a panga with all the new brands of cars — a Fiat doesn’t get dented that easily. Also, the owners of the new brands of cars will have to spend thousands to get their cars repaired so they won’t take a panga with my old Fiat." He laughingly continues, " Mini buses, buses, trucks and Matadors are out as far as taking panga is concerned. And this is my golden rule of giving the right of way."

Talking about why she gets so mad while driving on the city roads, Rita Sekhon, wife of the rally driver, Col Such Skehon, has her answers ready: "When I take my car on the road, I know I’ll have to contend with stray cats, dogs and cattle, and with people who are at the extreme left when they have to turn right at traffic signals. I also know that when I halt at roundabouts to give way to traffic on the right, I’ll have to deal with the irate horns and abuses of motorists behind me. Believe me, it’s easier to take on the Himalayan car rally than to drive on the city roads. Actually, it’s far too expensive, but if I had my way, I’d drive a tank."

The aftermath of road rage, as of any feelings of angst, is never very pleasant, except to those who have created a situation simply to feel powerful. Rage leaves one feeling drained out. It can cause feelings of stress and tension headaches, which completely spoil one’s day. One feels disoriented with one’s self and out of sync with the surroundings. The worst is that one always ends up regretting the loss of control which could have been avoided had one resisted the momentary black wave of rage.

In fact, road rage does not originate on the road only. It roots lie in the stress of everyday living. Road rage, office rage and even relationship rage come packaged with our fast-paced lives. "It’s only a saintly man or woman, who can remain calm on his or her way back from work," says Karuna, who teaches in a school. "Let me tell you all that I do in a regular day and then I’ll let you tell me why I shouldn’t lose my cool. Morning: get up early, get milk/tea, breakfast, tiffins ready for the family, tidy up, try and get some part of lunch ready, drop the kids to their school, rush off to your own school, hoping like hell that you don’t miss the bell. In school, handle scores of recalcitrant students and sometimes, offensive parents and tough situations. 2 O’clock: leave to go home, pick up the kids from their school, give them lunch and go out again to drop your son to his tuition, stop by at the market to pick up some stuff for dinner and return to your car to find that someone has blocked your car. Wait for about half an hour for the owner to turn up (remember, my mai would have left upon finding the house locked). Tell me, how would you behave when he returned, happily laden with his own shopping?"

Tough question!