This cop has a recipe to handle stress
Reeta Sharma

HE is jovial, frank and a thorough professional. There is nothing pretentious about him; he is happy-go-lucky and is neither bitter about anyone nor regretful of any happening in his life.

V. K. Kapoor’s career as a police officer with the Haryana Government has had its share of tribulations as well as a number of high points. During the Emergency imposed by Indira Gandhi, he was posted as SP in Sonepat. With Bansi Lal being the Chief Minister then, the entire state administration was enthusiastic about enforcing the family planning measures advocated by Sanjay Gandhi. And equally vociferous was the reaction of the public against the forced implementation. A team of family planning doctors and their staff were attacked by the public in Pipli village. When the police intervened, a constable was burnt alive. Besides, it may be recalled, many people were arrested under MISA (Maintenance of Internal Security Act). Post-Emergency, when the Shah Commission was appointed to look into excesses under MISA, Kapoor realised that he would be in the dock.

"As a police officer, I knew that I would have to face the Shah Commission in my capacity as district SP. Although I was just obeying orders, as per my duty, yet I knew such commissions take ages to complete their marathon proceedings. In such cases, the sword often falls on the scapegoats. It was this thought which forced me to think of ways and means of an alternative career. At that time, I was only Masters in English. I decided to enhance my qualification by doing law in the evening. I came out unscathed through both the commissions with the bonus of a degree in Law," he guffaws.

This incident speaks of his farsightedness. Again, Kapoor planned well in advance for his post-retirement life. Even though he had a brilliant career graph with the police — had a long stint with the Intelligence Bureau in Delhi and was even posted abroad — V.K. Kapoor planned his post-retirement life like a perfectionist. "If one has not proactively planned one’s retirement, it is bound to cause tremendous stress and a feeling of being crippled for ever. A majority of the people feel shattered because they somehow fail to pre-plan their retirement. And when from a ‘somebody’ they turn into a ‘nobody’, they suffer from a feeling of redundancy," Kapoor matter-of-factly observes.

He planned his retirement much in advance. When I visited him in the IB office in Delhi almost two years before his retirement, he had taken up the study of ‘stress management’, a subject on which he had collected endless material. Perhaps, it was his long tenure with the IB that had trained him to be meticulous.

V.K. Kapoor is a disciplined person. Besides being a teetotaller, he follows a strict regimen. He begins the day with exercises, games and yoga before proceeding with his hectic schedule at the Institute of Stress Management at Panchkula.

What does this stress management expert have to say about the stress and strain being faced by Indian women?

"The lives of the majority of Indian women speak of sorrow, toil, tears and neglect. The subcontinental mindset is ridden with feudal, ethnic and tribal instincts, which get reinforced with social customs. Look at the case of sexual harassment of an IAS officer in Kerala. Even though she was placed at such a high post yet the minister thought he could take advantage of her because she was his subordinate. It is another matter that her perseverance and struggle, which forced the minister to resign, reinforces our faith in the democratic system. But then every woman does not have the means and exposure to fight subjugation and, therefore, many of them continue to lead a life of stress and strain. There is enough evidence that even the most affluent Indian women lead a much neglected life.

"The Indian ethos dictate denial and passivity for women. Even today, as per the Indian social perspective, a girl marries the entire family and not an individual. This may have many plus points but it is too demanding on the Indian girls. However, the brighter side of the growth of Indian women is their visibility and success in almost every field. And you know, success dictates its own momentum. That is why I feel that the first quarter of the 21st century is going to belong to women," remarks Kapoor.

Explaining the basics about managing stress, he says, "Change — whether it leads to happiness or unhappiness — entails stress. Too much change destroys the feeling of stability and causes chronic stress. And stress is also self-induced, often leading to stress-induced illness or stress-linked problems. Since every individual lives in two worlds, public and private, the balancing act itself many times leads to stress".

Interestingly, relatively unimportant events, characterised as "hassles", have a greater impact on humans. Hassles could range from being caught in a traffic jam to getting involved in a dispute at one’s place of work to misplacing an address book at home. Such hassles are dubbed as forms of everyday stress.

Here is V. K. Kapoor’s ‘recipe’ for managing anxiety and stress:

Take time to think — it is the source of power; take time to laugh — it is the music of the soul; take time to play — it is the source of perpetual youth; take time to read — it is the fountain of wisdom; take time to pray — it is the greatest power on earth; take time to love and be loved — it is a God-given privilege; take time to be friendly — it is the road to happiness; take time to give — it is too short a day to be selfish.