Monday, December 16, 2002		Cyber Humour

I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses. "I’m sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch." The desperate customer turned to me and begged, "May I please have those roses?" "What happened?" I asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?" "It’s even worse than that," he confided. "I crashed my wife’s hard drive!"

Drivers’ computer terms

Hard drive - Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tyres and pulling a trailer-load of fertiliser.

Keyboard - Place to hang your truck keys.

Window - Place in the truck to hang your guns.

Floppy - When you run out of Polygrip.

ROM - Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.

Reboot - What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.

Network - Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.

Mouse - Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.

Cursor - What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.

Digital control - What your fingers do on the TV remote?

Packet - What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.

A.S.L.

I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me. "Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Net."

Culled from the Net