Weight loss

One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risqué picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but scantily-clad young woman.

"Mom, what's this?" I asked.

"Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to over-eat," she answered.

"Is it working?" I asked.

"Yes and no," she explained. "I've lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20!"

Dentist to patient: "Would you help me out? I'd like you to give a few of your loudest screams?"

Patient: "Why, doc? I didn't feel a thing!" Dentist: "I know, but there are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the five o'clock football game

There was a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put the frog on the ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "frog with four feet, jumps four feet." Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's legs. The scientist told the frog to jump. Frog jumped three feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "frog with three feet, jumps three feet." Then the scientist cut of another leg. He told the frog to jump. The frog jumped two feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook "frog with two feet, jumps two feet."

The scientist cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump. Frog jumped one foot. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "frog with one foot, jumps one foot." Then the scientist cut off his last leg. Then he said, "Frog jump. FROG JUMP!"

So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with no feet, goes deaf."

— Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma