TOM'S wife wasn't very attractive, but then he was no oilpainting, either. After the wedding ceremony, Tom asked the pastor how much the cost was for his services.

"Just give me what you think it is worth to have this lady for your wife," replied the Reverend.

Tom looked at his wife, and handed the pastor $50.

The pastor looked at Tom's wife and gave him $45 change.

Politicians!

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field. The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians. A few hours later, the local sheriff was driving past the farmer's field and noticed the bus wreck. He approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he'd gone ahead and buried all of them. "Were they ALL dead?" asked the puzzled sheriff. "Well, some of them said they weren't," said the old farmer, "but you know how them politicians lie."

There were three men sitting on a bench. One man asked the other two: "What do you want your family and friends to say at your funeral?". The second man said, "I guess I'd want them to say I was a nice guy and I took care of my family". The third also said, "I'd want them to say things like that too". The first man said: "That's all nice, but me... I want them to say - Look! he's moving!".

— Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma