Dentist: "Try to relax. I'll pull that aching tooth in five minutes."

Patient: "How much will this cost?"

Dentist: "It'll be $100."

Patient: "That much for just five minutes work?"

Dentist: "Well if you prefer, I can pull it out very slowly."

A man phoned his physician and excitedly exclaimed: "Please come at once, Doctor. My son has swallowed my fountain pen." The doctor replied, "I'll be right over. But what are you doing in the meanwhile?"

"Using a pencil," answered the father.

A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up - a crew of five men and a crew of five blonde women. The company cannot decide who to give the job to, so they give the two groups a test. The company boss says, "Each crew will receive a telephone pole that must be installed into the ground. Whoever is able to hammer it in first will get the job." Both groups agree that this is a fair test, so off they go in the company trucks with the long telephone poles sticking out the back. A few hours pass, and finally, at 5:00, the male crew returns. "Yes!" they shout. "We came back first, so we get the job!!" "Good work, men," says the boss, "However, we must wait until the other crew comes back to make sure that the reason they're delayed is not because of traffic or the truck breaking down." "Fine, no problem," say the men. An hour passes, two hours pass, three hours.

Finally, at 8:30, the blonde crew arrives. All the group is flushed and breathing hard. "What happened to you? What took so long?" asks the boss incredulously. "What do you mean, 'what took so long'? Do we get the job?"

"You get the job? No way! The men were back here Hours ago!"

"Well, of course they were," say the blondes. "They only put the pole in halfway!!"

A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, when will I be old enough to do as I please?"

The father answered immediately, "I don't know, son. Nobody has lived that long yet."

— Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma