Sunday, August 18, 2002		Life Ties

SURBHI, top scorer, ace debater, effective head girl and an unabashed fun person, was the brightest spark in class. Her vivaciousness made her the undisputed darling of the teachers and the ultimate dream girl fantasy for the boys. The girls too wooed her, hoping to be engulfed in her circle of influence. When the time came to part ways, the Class of '85 had its round of farewells. They resolved to stay in touch as they raised a toast to Surbhi, the leader of their pack. Surbhi had ensured a permanent place in their memories because due to her initiative they had shared a lot of fun and laughter in high school.

Twenty years went by. Some of them stayed in touch and kept a track of others. Whenever they met up, they enquired about Surbhi. She had apparently vanished from the face of the earth. All they knew was that after an eventful three years in one of the country's premier colleges, she had married a young merchant navy officer.

It was only when Antara met her at a party in Los Angeles, two decades after passing out from school, could the rest of the gang find some of the answers to what had happened to Surbhi. After the initial round of hugging and meeting with spouses, the two settled down to a cozy chat.

Surbhi had succumbed to family pressure and accepted the first proposal that came her way after her father passed away. That Rakesh didn't want any dowry was a bonus. He also did not want his wife to work, at least till they had raised a family. Initially, she sailed with him the world over but when the children arrived they decided to settle down in Bhopal with Rakesh's parents. All important family decisions were taken by him. They had two daughters and on his insistence they tried a third time hoping for a son. She had retained her girlish looks and was still the life and soul of any party.

Rakesh was sociable and expected his wife to outshine every body else when it came to entertaining. Living in a small community, interacting with a chosen few people who were way below her intellectual standard gave Surbhi a false sense of superiority. She believed she was the best. Rakesh wanted a trophy wife and she fulfilled that role. A long queue of hangers-on sustained her emotionally.

A chance request from her kids' school to substitute as a temporary teacher gave her a taste of working life. Having been out of touch for so long, she felt she lacked confidence. She dug up all her old college certificates and came across boxes of medals and trophies. It seemed from a different era. She felt that she had to make up for the years she had "vegetated". Interacting with just children and teachers had been limiting. Her organisational abilities, leadership qualities and management skills were being wasted in a school job.

Since Bhopal had limited career opportunities, she pushed her get her husband to use his contacts to help get her a break with a new branch of an international bank.

This should have grounded her and filled all the gaps that existed in her life.The better she did at work, the worse she felt because she was convinced marriage had stifled her. She became aggressive about her job. When the time came to move to the head office in Mumbai, she took it up. Being in the centre of the country's financial circuit was exciting. She had the entire staff of the Bhopal office eating out of her hands. The confidence it gave her was enough to give her a push. The ensuing discord at home forced them to put the children into boarding. Her husband stayed back while she moved.

As the years went by, Surbhi realised it was not so much the achievements at the workplace that kept her going but the impact she had on people. Appreciative glances she earned from visitors, clients, colleagues, young trainees and neighbours were the positive strokes that she thrived on. Desperate to hold on to her looks, she was insecure and upset when she found someone not responding to her the way the others did. Everything she did was for effect, dramatised in all its shades and nuances. While she was younger, she could carry it off. The same things that had earlier appeared elegant seemed indiscreet now. She was still desperate to hold on to her youth, to solicit compliments and to be constantly reassured of her indispensability.

Without the requisite professional qualifications, she found it tough going at work. Also the younger bratpack was far more pushy. There was not much scope for her to move up the hierarchy. She was intelligent enough to see that it was time to do stocktaking. Separated from her family and without a single fulfilling relationship, the emptiness had worsened. She had proved her point by insisting on branching out on her own. Even though Rakesh had never fulfilled her emotional needs, he was still there for her. She decided to take a transfer back to Bhopal even though it meant compromising on her salary and position. Rakesh and she decided to mend fences by taking a holiday to the USA and Europe.

This is where Antara had met them at a common friend's party. Hopefully, this would be a new beginning for Surbhi as she earnestly looked forward to catching up with some of her old friends. Antara had promised to organise a getaway with families. The reunion had been cathartic.