Slip of tongue

George went to his friend's house and asked to be put up for the night because he had a fight with his wife.

"What happened?" the friend asked.

"When I got home tonight I was really tired as a dog.

So when she asked me for fifty bucks for a new dress, I guess I must have been half asleep or something, because I said, ‘All right, but let's finish the dictation first.'"

A commercial traveller was passing through a small town when he came upon a huge funeral procession. "Who died?" he asked a nearby local.

"I'm not sure," replied the local, " but I think it's the one in the coffin."

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug. "Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug suggested.

"But what if my wife finds out?"

"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!"

So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together."

"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that, it never worked."

"George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell anything. I asked him to pick me up some sandwiches on his way back from lunch, and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back."

Just then the door flew open, and in bounced George. "You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!"

"See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'd forget the sandwiches."

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)