Who's in control?
There were three guys
talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control
they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the
first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what
sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says,
"I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her
hands and knees."
The first two guys were
amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.
The third man took a
healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered...
"She said, ‘Get out
from under the bed and fight like a man.’"
95th birthday
"Look at me!"
boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning
I do 50 push-ups, 50 sit-ups and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle!
And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up
late, and I don't chase after women!"
He smiled at them, teeth
white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my
95th birthday!"
"Oh, really?"
drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?"
Missed ferry
This guy loved living in
Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. If you missed a
ferry late at night, you had to spend the next hour or so wandering the
deserted streets of lower Manhattan.
So, when he spotted a
ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't
subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on
his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck. He got
up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander,
"Well, I made that one, didn't I?"
"Sure did," the
bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The
ferry is just about to dock."
(Culled from the Net by
Sunil Sharma)
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