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For vacations, prefer
offline mode
Tuesday I read that package holiday giant MyTravel has one million unsold summer holidays still rattling around, so it makes sense to the meanie in my head that it will be selling them for driftwood prices.On the MyTravel Website the holiday lots up for auction are laid out in a table with 'destination', 'duration', 'quality of accommodation', 'airport', 'date of departure' and, most importantly, 'date of auction closure' listed. The routine is that you sign on to the Website, choose a lot from the list, place a bid if you so wish and at zero hour the highest bid wins. It's Tuesday afternoon and I bid for seven nights on Spain's Costa Dorada, because this lot has the nearest closing date (Wednesday, 7 pm) and because the holiday for two is currently going to be sold to a browser called Numpty for a total of £ 39. Bids have to be made in increments of £ 20, so, with blood rushing to my head, I immediately click the button to pitch my price, only to be told that I have to sign on first. During this rigmarole the usual lengthy forms appear - hellish offspring of an unhappy marriage between the sales and marketing departments, the one desperate to take credit-card details and immediately let you loose to spend, the other desperate to strip you of all resaleable info by asking inane questions such as: 'Which type of holiday would you consider taking?' (Well any, or I wouldn't be here); 'Would you like to be greeted formally or informally?' (@*!@); and the ubiquitously perplexing 'How did you hear about the MyTravel site?' (how long have you got?). Released from this corporate hell with the necessary Web identity to bid, it's back to the auction site and I've got a holiday for two in Spain for £ 59 just hovering within my reach... with just 25 hours till closing time. Wednesday Straight on to the Net to check the status of my bid. TopTracey started the bidding at £ 1 on Monday, Numpty raised it to Pounds sterling 39 on Tuesday morning and pleasingly my £ 59 bid sits prettily on top. Throughout the day nothing happens. At 6.15 pm I log off and go home, hopeful that with only 45 minutes until the close of play remaining, my bid is secure. Thursday Horror of horrors. At 6.30 pm TopTracey came back with a bid of £79, Numpty responded with £ 99, TopTracey risked £ 119 at 6.58, and then out of nowhere at 6.59 pm JackieO came in with a victorious bid of £139. This audacious swoop by JackieO (a week's holiday for her and a friend at £ 69.50 each changed everything. When you fall off a horse, get straight back on. I immediately homed in on a week for two in Malta currently owned by RatBoy at £ 19. Lot to be sold at 10.30am Friday. Now I've learnt from JackieO that to place a bid so early would be foolish, but, not trusting the trains, and with the price so low, I figure I'll throw my hat into the ring today and hopefully join the hawks in the morning. But when I try to 'login' I am inexplicably confronted with all those 'signing on' forms to fill in again. I go back and forth checking my username and password over and over but every time I reach the same page. When I painstakingly try to sign on with exactly the same details again I am told that a TomObserver already exists! Finally I pick up the phone to ring the Help Desk - characterised on the website by a picture of a smiling girl in an orange shirt. After being put on hold for ages, I'm told the technical staff might get back to me, but then again four hours later it seems they might not. My non-technical solution is to log on again with a different name. This done I (rather nerdishly) log out and try to log back in again, aware that ease of access will be vital in any last minute showdown with the JackieOs of this world. Caramba! Once again I'm back to the miserable forms. Now I am faced with signing on to the Website as a new user every morning and also every time my computer crashes. Trembling, I go through the forms for a third time, with only just enough imagination for a fresh username. It's by this time that I thank Bill Gates I'm doing this at work. If I'd been using my home PC with its tiny modem it would all have taken three times as long as this purgatory. Job done, I get to sleep excited at the prospect of my £ 39 holiday twisting in the ether. Friday In at 10 o'clock and straight to the Website. Merry hell was played last night by rampant insomniac geeks. My measly bid lies crushed under a list of new names. Although RatBoy and a resurgent Numpty also joined the fray, someone called Mumbler is sitting pretty at £ 139. With just 30 minutes to sale time I must log in immediately and crouch ready to pounce at £ 159, £ 179 or even £ 199. But try as I might, I
cannot sign on to the site again. Either my computer, the Website or my
mind has broken. Perhaps, all three. 'This username password combination
has already been used.' 'Please fill out "Departure Port
Preference" details.' And the crowning glory: 'Sorry, an error has
occurred. Please click here to return to the site (logged in users will
be required to log in again).' And what about us mere mortals? I
returned to the auction to find it all over. A rabid flurry of bids from
anonymous Net pirates was overcome NOTE:
Some sunshine-seekers' Web names have been changed to protect the
innocent. — ONS |
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Although
it sounds too good to be true, the papers say that holidays to the
Mediterranean are going for as little as $ 74 per week - and at that
price I'm keen to get my pale mitts on one. Apparently the cheapest way
to do so is through an online auction.Buying a holiday on an Internet
auction Website might seem a bit like asking for trouble, but when 14
nights for two in Corfu is being offered at the starting price of £ 1,
common sense is rapidly bludgeoned aside by greed - or at least the
prospect of saving a small fortune.