EVEN though Haryana is an offshoot of Punjab, it has always had a distinctly different culture, customs, and even a different pace of life. The pace in the case of Haryana is like that of a tortoise. Punjab’s movement, in contrast, appears to be that of a hare.

Take, for example, how marriage is viewed in the two states. Last week in Fatehabad, Haryana, a ‘maha panchayat’ of 52 villages ordered the ‘dissolution’ of marriage which had taken place on March 24, 2002. It was neither a love marriage nor an inter-caste marriage but a very conventional marriage organised by both the families. The groom is from Sheokand caste and the girl belongs to the Beniwal caste. Both castes are considered equal and marriages between the two are socially acceptable. Yet, after the couple had lived together for nearly three months, a ‘maha panchayat’ of the Beniwal ‘khaap’ (clan) from 52 villages ordered the couple to get ‘divorced’ within a fortnight. The ‘maha panchayat’ held that it was a ‘socially bad’ marriage since about 20 families of Beniwal ‘gotra’ happen to live in Kakroda village in which this Beniwal girl arrived as a daughter-in-law.

These 20 families raised a hue and cry over the fact that a girl from the Beniwal ‘gotra’ is traditionally considered akin to a daughter and hence she could not be treated as a daughter-in-law. The families of the girl and boy refused to accept the argument and as a consequence a ‘maha panchayat’ was organised by the Beniwal ‘khaap.’ Interestingly, besides the Beniwal ‘khaap’, which included a former MLA, elected panch and sarpanch of 52 villages also participated in this panchyat.

This scene is not rare in Haryana. While love marriages and inter-caste marriages are totally unacceptable to the feudalistic social structure of the Haryanvis even the conventional marriages can be faced with a situation like the one mentioned above. When I spoke to the Fatehabad Deputy Commissioner, O P Indora, he conceded that it happened routinely in Haryana. When I asked him why Haryana was still in the medieval era over the issue of marriages, he countered, "That way, the whole world is in the medieval era. If Haryanvis are indulging in casteism, a section of the world is involved with the colour of the skin, another section in rich and poor and yet another in the educated and the uneducated. Anyway, the administration’s role begins only when there is a law and order problem. At the moment, it is a social issue, though I have asked the executive magistrate to monitor the situation."

While the Deputy Commissioner made a very valid observation, it is interesting that such alarming situations are viewed as being ‘routine.’ In Kaithal, a Harijan boy was punished for having married a girl from the upper caste. In Bhiwani, a Sangwan and Punia marriage created ruckus. In Rewari, a love marriage between a highly educated boy and a girl turned the area upside down. Santosh Yadav became the first woman to scale the heights of Mt Everest but society obstructed her path to scale an inter-caste marriage. She was forced to leave her state and settle down elsewhere.

Haryana is now 35 years old, and yet such incidents continue to be ‘routine.’ Casteism still rules the roast and is flourishing under the active patronage of these so-called ‘khaaps’ and the overwhelming feudalistic social structure. Haryana, which is Punjab’s next door neighbour, has not adopted the route to a progressive, open-minded and modern society. One wonders why NGOs or social and religious organisations have not come forward to spread awareness among the people and help them outgrow casteism. It is true that the world is afflicted by racism and economic disparities but that cannot be taken as an excuse to let other ills of society continue to prevail.

I am also perplexed to observe that no state has ever scrutinised the role of elected panchs and sarpanchs. In Uttar Pradesh, the caste and the other regularly elected panchayats have ordered killings of couples, who had married either in love or out of caste. Such couples have been hanged on trees under self-made laws. Although these panch and sarpanch were eventually arrested and are now behind the bars for life, the other states have not taken any cue from such actions of panchayats.

In Fatehabad, too, besides the ‘khaap’ elected panchayats were also present and were party to the decision of ordering the dissolution of the marriage. It is time for the state government to intervene and seek an explanation of these people for having acted against the law. Similarly, even the ‘khaap’ panchayat has acted totally against the law. Why they have not been booked for making such a pronouncement? Do I need to say that under the law this marriage is absolutely valid? Successive governments have failed to take action against such ‘khaap’ panchayats and elected panchayats, as they have been concerned about their vote banks in rural areas.

In Punjab, on the other hand, people frequently approach the courts for redressal. There is no evidence of collective participation in any kind of panchayat that is against the law. Also, there is not even a single example of any caste panchayat or elected panchayat pronouncing a verdict on social issues that goes against the law of the land. In fact, there is no existence of caste panchayats in Punjab. However, to give a realistic picture, there is evidence wherein panchayats in Punjab have indulged in corrupt practices, nepotism and favouritism and siding with the influential parties over a dispute.

Not that Punjab is an ideal state devoid of any casteism. But it is also not a caste-ridden society like Haryana. In Punjab, people from the lower castes are not hated. There is no visible practice of untouchability in Punjab. For example, there are no separate wells for drawing water, no separate housing, no ban on the entry of the people from the lower castes into the homes and fields of the upper castes. In fact, people from lower castes work in the fields of the upper castes with discrimination. The food for the labourers is cooked in the homes of the landlords. The wives of the lower caste people work in the homes of the upper caste people. Thus, there is a complete mingling of human beings, irrespective of the caste status.

This aforesaid practices are directly responsible for caste panchayats not taking shape in Punjab. Yet, while there are no caste panchayats, there are individuals who do have objections to inter-caste love marriages and marriages of choice by their children. Hence, there is an individual in Mohali who killed his daughter Rattandeep Kaur by stabbing her 14 times because she had married a boy of her own choice.

Similarly, three NRI parents in Canada paid lakhs of rupees to hired killers to eliminate the boys their daughters had chosen to marry in Punjab. In one case, the parents even ordered the killing of their daughter, too. What is interesting to note is that there was condemnation by society of all these cases in Punjab. This condemnation is indicative of two very specific conclusions. One, that the Punjabi society has no tendencies to collectively authorise pronouncements that are illegal and, two, that the society in Punjab respects the law and does not mock it by enforcing its own brand of so-called local tradition and practice.