A cyclone hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping. By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over. The wife was sobbing uncontrollably. "Don't be scared, Mary," her husband said. "We're not hurt." Mary continued to cry. "I'm not scared," she said between sobs. "I'm happy... this is the first time in 14 years we've been out together."

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal, and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong, so he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain. The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, "I'm sorry, but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age; there's nothing I can do about it." The old man replies with a look of disbelief, "That's impossible! That can't be!"

The Doctor says, "What do you mean? I'm the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it's not old age?" The patient answers, "I'm no doctor but it doesn't take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you're mistaken. After all, my other leg feels just fine."

"So what?" says the doctor "What difference does that make?"

"Well it doesn't hurt a bit, and it's the same age!"

A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."

Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma