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Before embarking on the final trip
to India, it was clear that his health was declining, and that
he probably would not be able to fulfil all the scheduled
engagements. This fear was reinforced by his dramatic loss of
weight and strength during the course of November and December,
together with his constant need of warm clothing and blankets,
even in the heat of southern India. His voice began to weaken,
he felt nauseous and suffered a recurrent fever. Everyone around
him began to suspect the worst. He expressed a wish to return
home to Ojai as soon as possible and began to give away his
Indian clothes to friends in Madras. His last talks were
followed by some uncomfortable meetings with Trustees of the
Krishnamurti Foundation of India, at which thorny administrative
matters were sorted out, before he finally flew out of the
country of his birth in the very early morning of 11 January.
Some hours prior to leaving for the airport, he took a final
walk along the beach at Adyar, close to the spot where he had
encountered Leadbeater. Before leaving, he paused and stared out
to sea, observed by a group of friends from a distance, the
strong wind blowing his hair wildly around his emaciated face.
He arrived at
Ojai on the morning of 12 January and rested a day before
visiting his trusted doctor, Gary M. Deutsch, at his Santa Paula
surgery. A firm diagnosis could not be made until Krishnamurti
was admitted to hospital on 22 January, where he received
intravenous feeding and was subjected to various scans and
tests. He stayed in hospital for a week, attended loyally by
Mary Zimbalist and Scott Forbes, a member of staff from
Brockwood Park. Krishnamurti was evidently unhappy with the
ambience and discomfort of hospital and longed to return to Pine
Cottage, a wish that was granted as soon as it became clear that
nothing more could be done for him other than relieving the
pain. The condition was diagnosed as cancer of the pancreas that
had spread to a secondary tumour in the liver.
Krishnamurti,
now wasted and shrunken, was delivered back to Ojai, in the
sheeting rain on 30 January, and lodged in the same room where
he had experienced the extraordinary spiritual awakening more
than six decades earlier, in the company of his brother. Dr
Deutsch came regularly to his bedside to check on him, give him
food supplements, morphine and sleeping pills. When it became
clear that the last weeks might be slow and agonising, Deutsch
‘specifically asked him about taking own life and he stated
that he [did] not want to die "artificially" but
qualified this by stating that he [did] not want to suffer’.
Doctor and patient struck up a close friendship in these last
days, and Deutsch claims to have been Krishnamurti’s last
student.
Inevitably,
many friends and associates came from around the world when news
of the great man’s imminent death began to spread. They were
torn between wanting to pay their last respects at the same time
as not yet giving up hope of a miraculous recovery. Nothing was
impossible in such a man, they believed, and when Deutsch
intimated on 4 February that there were signs of a possible
remission, hopes began to soar. Meanwhile, Krishnamurti prepared
himself for the end. He sent enquiries to Brahmin pandits in
India to find out the appropriate funeral arrangements for a
holy man, only to reject them later out of hand as ridiculous
and full of superstition. He went on to make some final
recordings and cleared up a few administrative and publishing
loose ends. Close to his heart were plans for a new adult study
centre at Brockwood, the foundation stone for which, funds
permitting, would be laid the following summer. He was also
particularly keen to see the younger people involved in his
work, those who had long lives ahead but little experience of
him personally, in order to ensure that their commitment was
grounded in his principles and would not be corrupted.
His mind
remained lucid during these discussions, despite the drugs he
was intermittently receiving, and he felt the need to reiterate
that he was still in control of his affairs. Visitors, choking
back their tears, were struck by his continued inner authority,
and what appeared to be a radiance shining from him. He was
holding on to life by a thread, in the shadow of a drip feed,
dependent on undignified tubes attached to his body, and barely
able to move, they report, but his fabulous energy still filled
the room as much as ever in the past. And as he lay in this
pathetic state he astonished one and all by stating firmly that
while he was alive he was still ‘the World Teacher’.
It was felt by
some, unfairly, that it was inappropriate for one such as
Krishnamurti to succumb to a disease like cancer. He himself
expressed this sentiment on one occasion, intimating that the
condition may have been caused by something he had done wrong,
some constitutional or psychological impurity. However, the
suggestion that an alternative diagnosis by publicly announced
was wisely rejected, and his disciples were left with the
perhaps unpalatable truth that even saints can develop fatal
tumours.
On 3 February,
Krishnamurti was lifted down from the verandah of Pine Cottage,
in his wheelchair, and placed under the pepper tree, no longer
the sapling of 1922, but which now provided an ample and
spreading shade. It was to be his final excursion out of doors,
and he sat in quiet thought at this scene of past adventures.
Behind him, attentive and alert, stood a group of devoted
acolytes, just as in former days, their predecessors, equally
enamoured and self-sacrificing, having departed decades earlier.
Two members of that generation had survived, of course, and both
had been major players in those remarkable formative
experiences. Rosalind and Rajagopal remained resident not far
away, but by this time were so completely estranged from
Krishnamurti, they may not even have known the seriousness of
his condition. No effort was made on either side to reach a
reconciliation or bid farewell. Rajagopal was to live on until
April 1993, still a member of the Theosophical Society and as
old as the century. Rosalind survived until January 1996, also
nearly ninety-three, her secret at last revealed to the world
through her daughter’s book.
When it became
clear that the precise day of Krishnamurti’s final parting
would be hard to predict, and that it would be in no one’s
interests for a large group of mourners to wait at Ojai for the
dreaded event, Krishnamurti tactfully asked most of them to
leave, and they reluctantly respected his wishes. As he drifted
into the second half of February, he remained conscious but
became increasingly dependent on medication to relieve the pain.
On his last evening, having taken a sleeping dose, he gently bid
Scott Forbes and Mary Zimbalist goodnight. They held a hand
each, convinced that they had heard his final words. His heart
stopped beating at 12.10 a.m. local time on March 17 February.
His body was
washed and wrapped in unused silk. A few hours later he was
taken in a cardboard coffin to the crematorium at Ventura,
accompanied in the hearse by Mary Zimbalist, who was fulfilling
an earlier promise that she would attend him right to the very
end. In order to ensure that his ashes were kept pure,
Krishnamurti had personally given instructions in advance that
the furnace should be thoroughly cleaned out and then inspected
by a member of his own staff. Once this had been accomplished,
with a minimum of ceremony and in the presence of a few local
friends, Krishnamurti’s body was committed to the fire. In
accordance with his wishes, the ashes were split into three, one
part to remain at Ojai, one to be scattered at Brockwood, and
the other in the River Ganges. He had specifically instructed
that no particular ritual was to accompany these tasks, and that
no memorial was to be set up in his honour, then or thereafter.
Extracted from: Star in the
East Krishnamurti the invention of a Messiah by Roland Vernon
pages 306, Rs 295.
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