A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the

mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my own present instead of making you and dad shop for me."

"But mom," says the daughter, "some poor, helpless creature has to suffer so that you can have this coat. Don't you think that's kind of cruel?"

"Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.

Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your papa in there."

After his motion to suppress evidence was denied by the court the attorney spoke up, "Your Honour," he said, "What would you do if I called you a stupid, degenerate, old fool."

The Judge, now also angered, revered, "I would hold you in contempt of court and seek to have you suspended from practicing before this court again!"

"What if I only thought it?" asked the attorney.

"In that case, there is nothing I could do, you have the right to think whatever you may."

"Oh, I see. Then, if it pleases the court, let the record reflect, I 'think' you're a stupid, degenerate, old fool."

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan."

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)