Sunday, February 10, 2002		Dream Theme

Dreaming of family
Vinaya Katoch Manhas

THE definition of what constitutes a family differs from one culture to another. Although nuclear families are the norm of the day, yet in India familial bonds are so strong that they survive even separation. Thus seeing family members, both near and distant ones, in dreams is not uncommon.

In the Indian context the stress is mainly on whether you see living relatives or the ones who are dead. While discussing living relatives, it is the situation in which you see them which is important. Should you, for instance, see your husband marrying you, it is a good omen. Should you marry someone other than your husband, it is a bad omen. Should you see him or some other relative laughing it foretells that they might fall ill.

While discussing the significance of seeing a dead relative in your dreams, the stress is mostly on the mood of the relative. If he or she inyou see him or her sad or crying, it is a bad omen.

As per western thought, to dream of your family as harmonious and happy portends health and easy circumstances. But if you dream of sickness or disagreements in your family, it forebodes gloom and disappointment.

While interpreting dreams of one's family from the psychological point of view one has to take an important fact into consideration. The family represents security for the child. As per the circumstances and situations of his life that image becomes distorted. Dreams try to correct this distortion.

In the context of familial relations, boys commonly dream of castration. Dreaming of the deaths of one's near and dear ones are also fairly frequent. Dreams in which one sees oneself killing a family member does not actually portray a death wish but rather a wish for punishing the individual for some wrong he has done. In case one sees oneself being killed by a relative it reveals a feeling of guilt because of some wrong one has done to the person killing one and thus such a dream denotes feelings of guilt or insecurity that one possesses. Individual members and their position within the family symbolise archetypes. Whereas the father and the elder brother represent the masculine principle, the mother represents the nurturing and protective instinct.

For instance, let us study the dream of a wife who often dreamt that she was trying her best to please her husband by various means, by being a good wife, but was not very successful in her attempts, although in real life her marriage was happy. On studying the case it was found that the reason for the recurrence of the dream lay in her childhood. She had witnessed the failure of her parents' marriage because of the lazy and uncaring attitude of her mother. Her father had brought up her sister and her along with running the house and doing a job. The failure of her mother both as a wife and a mother had made her insecure regarding her own ability to be a good wife and mother.

Thus dreams of family tend to more or less reflect the true nature of your familial relationships and your insecurities and hidden feelings and desires regarding these relationships.