After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard him sobbing in his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted.

In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"

A man enters a cafe and sits down. He notices that the special of the day is cold chilli. When the waitress comes to take his order, he says, "I'll take the cold chilli."

"I'm sorry, the gentleman next to you got the last bowl," says the waitress. "Oh, I'll just have coffee, then."

After a while the man notices that the guy next to him who got the last bowl of cold chilli is finishing a rather large meal and the chilli bowl is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that?" The other man replies, "No." "Would you sell it to me?" "You can have it for free if you want it."

So the man takes the bowl of chilli and begins to eat it. When he gets about half way through the bowl, he notices a dead mouse in the bowl and pukes the chilli back into the bowl. The other man says sympathetically, "That's about as far as I got, too."

A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home.

Being a Samaritan, the man agrees. The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him. The man walks over and tries to wake Mr. Murphy but Mr. Murphy is groggy and quite drunk. The man helps Mr. Murphy to his feet and Mr. Murphy falls to the floor in a heap.

"Jeez," the man says wondering how anyone could drink so much.He takes Mr Murphy by the arm and practically drags him out to the car. He then drives to the address the bartender gave him. He opens the passenger door and helps Mr. Murphy out and the guy falls to the ground. Cursing softly, now, the man helps him to his feet and practically drags him to the front door. He lets go of Mr. Murphy to knock on the door and the guy falls down again. He helps him to his feet as Mrs. Murphy answers the door.

"Hi, Mrs. Murphy, Your husband had too much to drink tonight so I gave him a ride home." "That was nice of you," she says, looking around...

"But where's his wheelchair?"

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)