Osama bin Laden, severly injured in an American attack, is in a US Army medical facility, when he asks the attending doctor, "Doc, when will I die?"

Unsure of the exact time of death, his Western doctor says "You will die on an American holiday."

"How do you know it will be on an American holiday?" asks the terrorist.

"Oh," said the doctor, "Any day that you die will be an American holiday."

"Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," little Jhonny said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best Christmas present I ever got."

"That's great," said his uncle. "Do you know how to play it?"

"Oh, I don't play it," the little fellow said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night."

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martinis all night long, but just tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)