A man complains to a friend, "I can’t take it anymore."

"What’s wrong?" his concerned friend asks.

"It’s my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!"

"You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling.

"No, I mean historical," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she’ll go .."I still remember that time when you ...."

Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his five kids together to ask which one should have the present.

"Who is the most obedient?" he asked.

The children all stared back at him in silence.

Then he asked, "Who never talks back to mother?"

Again the kids appeared to be mystified by the question.

Then Tom asked, "Who does everything she says?"

With that question, the kids were finally able to come to a conclusion. The five small voices answered in unison, "Okay, dad, you get the toy."

The proprietor of a successful optical shop was instructing his son on how to charge a customer.

"After you have fitted the customer’s glasses," he said, "and he asks you what the charge will be, you say, ‘$10.’ Then see if he winces.

"If the customer doesn’t wince you say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be another $10.’

"If he still doesn’t wince you say firmly, ‘Each.’"

The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose—how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair. The author said he could handle the story tactfully.

The book appeared. It said "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)