Sunday, July 22, 2001		Life Ties

Undoing all that the previous generation had done
Taru Bahl

RUPAN and Subroto (names changed) were the last of Kolkata’s aristocracy. Their grandfather

Kakoli Ghosh had been offered the position of mayor, after Independence. He turned this honour down because he was convinced that if he had to help people at the grassroots level he had to steer clear from politics. His forefathers, illustrious landlords of their time, had left behind a lot of property. Besides he believed that land and property were family heirlooms. They were security all right but not something that one ever sold to bail oneself out of difficulties. It was every generation’s duty to add to that kitty but never to encash it.

Unfortunately, he was the only one in his family who thought like that. Soon after his father’s death, his two brothers insisted on division of property. Kakoli was the only one who did not fight for his share and graciously accepted what he got. Meanwhile he was in a hurry. He wanted his people to progress and get out of the subservient mind set. The agenda he had set for himself was onerous for he was talking of a district which was perhaps the most backward in Bengal.

He used his influence over the newly-formed Government to get them basic amenities like electricity, water, jobs and agricultural subsidies. He was effective because his people knew he was not looking at position or material benefits. The government was receptive because he had friends in the right places and was highly respected.

He was a one-man army. In his journey for reform, the only inadvertent casualty was his family. He couldn’t devote time to them and had virtually left their upbringing to his wife. She came from a rural background and was completely intimidated by him. She had not been healthy since marriage and negligence made it worse. As long as she was alive she protected the children, covered their misdemeanors and bailed them out of trouble. To compensate for all the time, love and attention that she did not get from her husband, she made the children the centre of her universe. They were extremely attached to her but they also learnt to manipulate her into giving in to their every whim and fancy. Her premature death left a void in their lives.

They were already spoilt and irresponsible but after they had lost their emotional anchor, their behaviour worsened.

When complaints began pouring in from school about the boys’ acts of indiscipline and bad grades, for the first time Kakoli came face to face with the reality about his growing boys. Rather than take charge and set a reasonable course of action, he took to thrashing them. He was appalled at how his sons could be anything but paragons of virtue. He hired tough tutors for them, denied them all the comforts which money could buy and started monitoring their progress. Since he was busy touring all over Bengal and holding open durbars at home, his involvement remained peripheral. Instead of personally attending to them, he chose to use a third person. By demanding daily reports and controlling the purse-strings, he thought he was ‘straightening them out’, not realising that children, with their ingenuity, can always find a way out.

Both the boys grew up to be resentful of their father’s authority over them and turned rebellious. Rupan was caught drinking in college and was suspended. When he got involved with Rosemary, a Christian girl, Kakoli threw him out of the house. Rupan may have been a weakling but he had too much pride to go back to his father in order to beg him to provide for him and his family. It was to Rosemary’s credit that she kept the fires at home burning. Rupan could never hold on to any job or take on the responsibility of running any business. Soon after marriage, she had taken an entrance exam for working at the bank and made it to the clerical grade. Her only ambition in life was to give her daughter as normal an upbringing as was possible. She wanted her neither to be embarrassed by her father’s irresponsible ways and alcoholism nor did she want her to feel sorry for him. She wanted her to look at life squarely in the eye and stand up for herself with the confidence that can only come on the strength on one’s convictions. She wanted her to have a definite goal and purpose in life and to single-mindedly move in that direction without disregard for her elders, even if they were not the perfect role models.

Meanwhile, Subroto, the younger son, knew that his father had a lot of money which wouldn’t come his way till the "old man kicked the bucket". He wanted to lead a luxurious life without having to work for it. Things became easy when Kakoli’s health began failing him and the controls fell in Subroto’s hands.

He could now live an opulent life without lifting a finger. He and his wife moved into a sprawling bungalow, hired an army of servants, put their son in the best public school, loaded themselves with all the goodies that money could buy. Kakoli lived with them but was relegated to an outhouse under the care of an old faithful servant. Whenever cash would run low or they wanted to holiday abroad or buy the latest car model they would sell off an acre of land, a family heirloom or a piece of antique furniture. It was little wonder then that their son imbibed the same set of values. By the time he reached high school the family had sold all their fixed assets except the house they were living in. All these years there had only been outgoings from the Ghosh account, with not a single incoming amount being debited. Their son somehow scraped through school but didn’t want to go in for higher studies. On Kakoli’s insistence, he was sent to Australia for undergraduate studies. The money for this was procured by mortgaging their house. After completing two years he came back saying, vahan dil nahin laga (My heart was not in it) leaving behind an unfinished degree, a huge family debt and with zero guilt.

Today, the family lives in abject penury and the old man is painfully witnessing the brick-by- brick destruction of his family honour and pride

It was only when Rupan developed cirrhosis of the liver along with other complications and the doctors said that he didn’t have much time to live that Rosemary decided to approach her father-in-law for help. She wasn’t looking for financial patronage. She just wanted the father to hug the son and tell him how much he loved him and had missed him. She knew it was the only way Rupan would die in peace. He had throughout his life silently craved for his father’s acceptance and an open demonstration of his love. Sure, Rupan had done precious little to earn that love. But couldn’t Kakoli see that he was ill-equipped to do so? In the absence of any training and guidance he had formed his own opinions and charted his own path in life. Of what use was Kakoli’s immense social welfare if he couldn’t devote time to his own people, his own house?

His wife had died a broken, unloved and sick woman. His elder son had embraced a debauched life, convinced that money could buy everything even happiness. The younger son had taken to drinking to find solace and comfort. Kakoli could see the wrong he had inadvertently done. He also saw that Rosemary, with her unfailing devotion to her husband, had in such adversity kept her family together. Piya, his grand-daughter was a delight. After many years, the old man’s eyes lit up with pride as he saw his own blood showing promise of resurrecting the family name and honour. There was hope after all. It was a tough burden for the young girl to carry but she was strong and determined. Most important of all, she was definitely responsible because she had been brought up with the right values. There might have been ups and downs in her life, but she would never go wrong. Her mother had ensured that.