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| HER WORLD | Sunday, July 8, 2001, Chandigarh, India |
Angana Parekh who participated in the United Nations’ just-concluded Special Session on HIV/AIDS writes on The female face of AIDS  THE
United Nations’ just-concluded Special Session on HIV/AIDS witnessed
much heat over people of different sexual orientation - whether gays and
lesbians should be clearly mentioned as vulnerable groups in the
Declaration of commitment and indeed, whether their representatives
should even be allowed to participate in the discussions. There were
other areas of concern such as how should human rights be defined; and
also who and how would the Global Fund be administered.
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VIEWPOINT A MATTER OF ATTITUDE |
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Angana Parekh who participated in the United Nations’ just-concluded Special Session on HIV/AIDS writes on The female face of AIDS THE United Nations’ just-concluded Special Session on HIV/AIDS witnessed much heat over people of different sexual orientation - whether gays and lesbians should be clearly mentioned as vulnerable groups in the Declaration of commitment and indeed, whether their representatives should even be allowed to participate in the discussions. There were other areas of concern such as how should human rights be defined; and also who and how would the Global Fund be administered. General Kofi Annan acknowledged this on the last day of the Session: “It is clear now that women must be in the forefront of the struggle against AIDS.” Consider these facts. Of the 34.7 million adults living with HIV/AIDS, 47 per cent are women. In 2000, women constituted 46 per cent of adults newly infected by AIDS. And 52 per cent (a staggering 1.3 million) of all AIDS deaths in 2000 were women. According to UNIFEM Executive Director, Noeleen Heyzer, “There is a direct co-relation between women’s low status, the violation of their human rights and HIV transmission. The reason that AIDS has escalated into a pandemic is because inequality between men and women continues to be pervasive. Too often, women and girls cannot say no to unwanted and unprotected sex without fear of reprisal.” It is now accepted that women are not just socially but also biologically more vulnerable than men. Semen has a far higher viral load than vaginal fluid and remains in the woman’s body for hours after intercourse. Women have a larger mucosal surface exposed to abrasions during intercourse. Younger women’s vaginal canals are not fully developed and prone to tears and abrasions. Finally, women have a high rate of STDs which allow for easier transmission of the HIV virus. Research on microbicides has been going on for over 10 years now and several compounds are poised to enter large-scale clinical trials. There was some effort to get countries to commit themselves to supporting the development of microbicides. Kofi Annan urged countries to support microbicides, describing them as a means to give women the power to protect themselves. Female condoms, on the other hand, are already in use and have been introduced on a pilot basis in over 60 countries in the past four years. Now countries like Brazil, Ghana, South Africa, Namibia and Zimbabwe are introducing them in a larger way. A strong, soft transparent polyutherane sheath inserted in the vagina before intercourse, the female condom is emerging as an important tool for protecting and empowering women. “It by no means replaces the male condom but is invaluable in the context of HIV/AIDS prevention and unwanted pregnancies,” said Suman Mehta of UNFPA. A major drawback here is the cost though. At US 60 cents per piece, it is unaffordable for those who need it
most. But a female condoms produced at one-third the cost are being produced in China and are currently being tested by UNAIDS. If found acceptable, female condoms could be included in country health programmes. Women’s groups, however, point out that both these methods place the onus of protection once again on women. “So far, a majority of interventions - whether for birth control or safe sex - place the burden on women. It is important for men to assume the responsibility too,” said a delegate. UNIFEM’s Heyzer issued a five-point call of action to challenge the pandemic:Guaranteeing women’s equal access to prevention and treatment; making research gender-sensitive; educating and informing women and girls; addressing gender inequality in policy; and addressing HIV transmission in conflict
situations. Away from the hustle-bustle of the UN building teeming with like-minded people, the situation on the ground clearly illustrates the desperate need for urgent action. “There is so much talk here, so many promises. But condoms are not easily available in my country,” said a Zambian delegate. The challenge before the UN, the proposed US$10 billion Global Fund for AIDS and for national governments is to formulate ways to carry forward the impetus generated by the Special Session. The writer is the Director, Women's Feature Service. |
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VIEWPOINT ARMED in a combat dress and a sword to top it, for the final and fading assault, the would-be groom (not doom) smiled meekly at times through the floral and tinsel veil. He was firmly saddled on the bejeweled white horseback. The dream-filled, young (not yet bowled) son curiously and in a matter of fact manner plied a question at his father, who was accompanying him. The forlorn and fatigued father was asked: Why did the groom not ride a donkey, which would be more convenient and safe? The
father replied promptly: “To distinguish between the horse and donkey”. Dusk to dawn, it is women who are centre-stage, the rest of the humanity is elbowed out in a bid to settle scores for the past hurt and humiliation. I do not know who said it so aptly. “A woman takes 20 years to make a man of her son. Another woman takes 20 minutes to make a fool of him”. Susan Faludi in her writings minced no words saying, “ Masculinity is a fragile tower – a hot house orchid in constant need of trellising and nourishment. She further added to the sordid slip that the 2000s man is becoming the 50s woman. After three and a half decades of wedlock, padlock and deadlock, I stand testimony to the pitiable plight of men, and my enlightened friends can vouch for it, seeing the past generation, the present and the tell-tale-signs of the future. Male dominance of the centuries is fast on the wane. The new millennium will usher new vistas and hope in Eve’s domain, since she is already on quick march. Male has no future and is on the threshold of extinction and at best shall be like a piece of archaeological ‘find’ fit for display only in a museum. All the machismo and bravado stands throttled and thrashed at the very shadow of a bewitching, vivacious and voluptuous damsel. The atrophied man is her savoury meat despite his apparent and obvious look of a “He Man”. Biologically again, she outlives him by few years in the race for longevity, handicapped though, for caring and carrying the burden of learning and rearing the progeny and many more physical handicaps. “Marriage” said Ian Hay, commenting and confessing to the harassed man’s shyness “is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention”. Socrates was right in saying “Marry you must if you get a good wife, but with a bad wife you are bound to turn a philosopher”, A friend gave me the magic ‘mantra’, though late, for a happy marriage and harmony which (in Punjabi) is something like haar manni (accepting defeat). Sooner or later, but almost certainly after the fifties, your better half is on the driver’s seat, and in full control of the steering and speed— leaving the man a battered soul. Husband, again translated in Urdu as Shoher is her “show”. Her gift of the gab, sixth sense of smelling and sniffing, the ruthlessness and yet paradoxically, the innate qualities of nature, compassion, sensitivity, creativity, facing a crisis, has humbled man’s aggression and shrunk his stature beyond recognition. Manu had an admirable deep in-sight into women’s psyche denying her though illogically and unaesthetically the right to stand on a par with the male species. For, once they became equal he knew, she would desperately tempt the man and attempt to overtake him and race on miles ahead— a trait more true especially in the case of elite, progressive and lib-cultured women. How fair is fair sex to the opposite sex in this new millennium is intriguing and worth watching. |
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A MATTER OF ATTITUDE SHE loved him. He was to be her partner for life. There were promises made. He could not see beyond her. Then what happened that one afternoon. From the moment we realise the reality of death our lives are spent with the insecurity of losing loved ones. All the time, we wish to push the parting till the age of 100, which seems far away for atleast half our lives. What happens when tragedy of death hits you in your prime. At a time, when parting was no where on your horizon. It happened and then to survive! We call it mere “coping”, it is actually finding within the strength to restart life again. She refused to give up Daughters in our society are more often than not only brought up with the styles, mannerisms and beliefs to settle happily into wedlock. All efforts are made to save them any exposure, such that the family they marry into feels like the best bet! After three brothers, “Nikki” Nirmaljeet was born in January 1959. Protected, cared for and loved, but never, no never, pampered or spoilt. Her traditional household expected girls to grow up within the good girl parameters set by all old families. Graduating from Dalhousie, she was married to the son of a well-acquainted family in December 1981. Masters by Correspondence and her daughter came around within the 1st year of wedlock. To her dismay ,her husband, a qualified doctor was more than easy with drinks. A well-behaved man would suddenly turn into an aggressive, short tempered human being and the young bride and mother at 23/24 was expected to find the wherewithal to handle him, change him and adapt to him. From being a very protected daughter and sister she found herself thrown alone into the world to make her own choices. Nirmal dutifully tried a tryst with destiny. She even took on the burden of becoming the bread earner by teaching in various schools at Dalhousie, Mussoorie and Ludhiana. One evening, hell broke loose at the hands of a highly intoxicated husband and no help arrived from his family. It was the proverbial last straw. Nikki decided to confide in her parents and brothers. Surprisingly all her relatives were aware of the “He man’s” waywardness and were only keeping their distance till their Nikki took her own decisions. She enrolled for a degree in law and during the course realised the futility of a non-existing relationship without any emotional or financial security and filed for a divorce in 1985. Maya Ray, the then Governor’s wife, when approached helped Nirmal via her various social groups to chalk-out a new life. In 1987 Nirmal was a divorcee, living in a two room tenement with a daughter to bring up and a career to chalk-out. She pushed ahead single-mindedly ignoring the past for keeps. It was not easy to be young, attractive and single trying to establish in a man’s world. A 48- hours-schedule a day with an iron will and a course the total unconditional support from her parents, brothers and their families has finally established Nirmal as a leading lawyer dealing with all service matters. She now owns a luxurious house, has a wide circle of old school and college friends. But her best friend is her pretty 18-year-old daughter. She has never considered remarriage “I would never give-up all my achievement and freedom for any man ever again”, she sums up. Destiny teaches us to grow up as people and make our daughters career minded and financially secure not because it breaks homes and marriages, but because if they do break at the hands of fate our daughters should not break with them.
— Teena Singh |
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READERS’ RESPONSE
AMRIT PAL TIWANA Female foeticide The article “Killing the girl child” (June 24) made for an interesting reading and is a matter of serious concern. This warrants quick remedies to check the growing practice of female foeticide. Enactment of any legislation or act may be a tool so as to help in controlling the situation but it is not a remedy in itself. The problem is more social and has to be looked into the social ethos of our society. Quite often banning certain activities leads to corrupt practices and aggravates the situation as was observed during prohibition in some states is one such example. The need is to enact a regulation which gives equal rights to both boys and girls and their effective implementation whether it means a ban on dowry, rights to property or equal preference in employment and so on. Nowadays in particular, people follow more in what their religious gurus preach. This can be an effective manner to convey the message that female foeticide is an inhuman act. PARUL SHARMA II Why does man pass a death
sentence so cruelly on a child? It’s not the question of being a boy
or a girl, but the right of a child to live. Some might be denied food
and others clothes, but how on earth can someone be denied life and
breath? A word to those mothers who thought it was in the favour of
their girl child to die than to face this unsafe world, you have no
right to decide that your child will be as weak as you have been by
allowing this to happen. Mental weakness is a far greater disability
than physical weakness. It’s people like you who have allowed
women to be dubbed as the ‘weaker sex’ or the ‘inferior race’
if you want to protect your child, then slap the face of those who
mean to harm it or arm your child with the instinct of self survival,
instead of slapping a death sentence in the face of the one who
belongs to you. JASMINE SEKHON III The media is
focussing on the role of health professionals and ante-natal
diagnostic techniques in encouraging the practice of female foeticide.
Though one of the major factors, they are not entirely responsible for
it. It is a social problem so society should help in solving it. No
law can check it unless we go to the root cause of the problem, which
is the social set-up that forces a woman to be afraid of giving birth
to a daughter. When we are unable to change this mind-set, no change
can be expected by banning the sex-determination tests. It is we who
create who a demand for these tests and some doctors fall prey to it.
The ban on these tests will only help in increasing the total birth
rate as people will keep on having children till they get a son.
People can take a life or sacrifice their own life in the name of
religion. Role of Akal Takth is commendable in this regard and it’s
high time now that the others follow and try to change the mind-set. SURINDER
SAREEN IV A mother is known for loving her child without
any ulterior motive. How come she becomes so strong that she
kills/aborts her child on being told that she is carrying a female
foetus? Even she is totally indifferent to the voice which says
”mamma please do not kill me, I want to see this world. Give me life
and stand up against those who put pressure on you to kill me. I
really wonder after killing me how can you sleep peacefully?.” SHASHI Money makes... Money makes the marriage go”, the
article by Harinder Mohan Singh, lays bare the stark, naked truth of
the commercialisation of marriage. Consumerism gives you only a
certain illusory euphoria. Lust and sex have made man’s life akin to
drift-wood. Man has plunged into the river of lust where only typhoons
rage and no one ever reaches the shore of life. Little do men realise
that consumerism is the evil that has wrecked the glamour of life. It
has led to the phenomenon of broken homes. Men have grown crazy and
hungry for money and the sanctity of life has vanished and the
institution of marriage has become a liability. HANS
RAJ JAIN |
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But an achievement that went largely un-remarked was that there were some firsts in this, the UN’s 26th Special Session: It was the first Special Session called on a health issue - a recognition of the gravity of the HIV/AIDS problem. And it was for the first time that the issue of gender inequality was recognised as being central to the problem. UN Secretary
One of the discussions that generated interest during the UNGASS was on microbicides and female condoms - considered as new and effective means to overcome the difficulty women face in negotiating safe sex. Microbicides are produced in the form of topical gels, creams or suppositories that are applied locally before intercourse and are undetectable. They are said to substantially reduce transmission of HIV and other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs).
Of late, the tendency to brand women as the weaker sex has taken a severe battering. Just see how men are lining up shyly for Viagara. While the fair sex is quite independent and not bothered about such details. At the most, the women queue up for the beauty parlour and the gym. No wonder they can tame the timid and befool her prey.
The beautiful soft white feet lying tide in a gunny bag, the handsome body of the dearest man reduced to just a unrecognisable torso in a morgue. The face one loved above all to be recognised by that sweet little poky bone behind the only ear lobe intact. There must be a God! A God who uses his miracles to give one the strength to transform the traumas into a calm, peaceful and loving human being accepting the inevitable, pushing one’s own insecurities and emotional bareness to the depths and finding the courage to bring up two kids with all the faith, all the confidence, and all the stability. How else does one explain the very existence of Dr Pratima Duggal, wife of the very handsome Dr Anil Duggal blown to smithereens in the Beant Singh assassination. It took the 32- year-old widow Pratima, three long years to accept that Anil had gone forever. She remained constantly ill, with ever and indigestion. Her 2 year-old son, Siddharth would pinch her blue to express his woes. Seven- year- old daughter Manita needed to escape and live with a relative. In Pratima’s absence, the clinic received no patients. The newly-built house was under heavy loans. In their utter despair at losing a son, Anil’s parents become apprehensive of the young widow. Hon’ble men fell to sending sleazy proposals. Forsaken by friends, she became the unlucky widow. Life seemed like a helpless event when one day she saw an old lady balancing on two crutches and totally dependent on a rickshaw to carry on with her daily needs. Suddenly, Pratima began counting all the pluses she still had to be able to help herself and her kids rise above the depths of despair. Various Satsangs, Gurus, Rieky and a course in Art of living gave her mind, body and soul the much needed succour and some direction. God came in the form of Dr Kusum, her sister Kavita and her parents to help and goad her back to work, back to good dressing and back to finding the strength to smile. The pain is forever, but she has now found it within herself to rise above her misery and focus on her little children. Step by step, the finances worked out due to Anil’s personal life insurance policies. The Government that spends crores on a single election felt magnanimous giving a mere two-lakh compensation for Anil’s gruesome murder. Thank God she was a qualified professional. According to her it is each patient of her’s walking in to help her cross her limits of excellence as a doctor, that brought about a financial stability and much required re-focus. Her in-laws have thawed to trust and admire her and the once empty house is now well-furnished and she sits hand in hand with her two very brave children speaking about those years of unbearable wrench.
This is with reference to the article