A recent government survey reflects how the need for practical support
in old age is overtaking traditional concerns. While a large majority of
respondents in their seventies wanted to live with a son’s family,
only 37 per cent of men and 12 per cent of women in their twenties
expressed the same preference. A 1982 survey showed slightly over half
of Japanese couples interviewed who wanted only one child preferred a
boy. A survey in 1997 found that three quarters of respondents wanted a
girl.
"For parents, even
if a daughter can’t continue the family name, it’s all right as long
as she’s nearby," says Fukushima. Some couples are signing up
with clinics that sell expensive sex-selection methods which promise
results, but rarely deliver. One common method is for women to
internally apply jellies — pink for girls, green for boys.
A spokesman for the
Japan Family Planning Association (FPA) said: "There are people who
use these jellies to alter the acidity levels in the body, but it’s an
underground thing (and) not rational. There is no proof that it helps
determine sex at conception."
Couples who balk at
using such invasive methods can use a recently-launched calendar which
purports to determine which days of the month are best for conceiving a
girl. It is produced by the France-based Selnas Club, which claims a
membership of 400 couples, with over 75 per cent desiring a daughter.
A fee-based
organisation, the Club runs a clinic which offers prospective parents
medical consultation. Selnas Club representatives are unwilling to
disclose the cost of consultations, and although they claim to publish
statistical evidence that their calendar works, the FPA spokesman had
never heard of the method and could not comment on its efficacy.
However, unlike its
Asian neighbours — India, China and Korea where son preference is
strong — sex selective abortion is unheard of in Japan. Although
abortion is legally available untill the 23rd week of pregnancy, the
Japan Society of Obstetrics and Gynaecology forbids doctors to disclose
the sex of a foetus before that point, due to its concern regarding
sex-targeted abortions.
Although the most
commonly cited ideal family size is one son and one daughter, the image
of the favoured son has taken a considerable beating in recent years
among the Japanese.
The economic recession
has destroyed the myth of the job-for-life salaryman. Today’s adult
male is more often seen as an office drone, isolated from his family and
anxious about the next round of corporate restructuring. Working men
routinely put in 12-hour working days followed by mandatory company
"leisure" — drinking with colleagues in bars and restaurants
until late at night.
Many Japanese feel that
girls are spared the intense pressure of joining the corporate
treadmill. "Girls aren’t expected to succeed," says
Fukushima, one of the country’s leading feminists. "(Society
says) it’s okay just to give up. Boys can’t do that. They walk a
narrow beam. They can go further than girls but if they slip they’ll
be labelled as drop outs."
The preference for
girls is stronger among women, who often cite the belief that they can
have a more rewarding relationship with a daughter than a son. "You
can have a friendship when she’s older," says 30-year-old Nazomi
Ohashi, who is delighted that her first child is a girl.
Because many Japanese
women are house-bound and often socially isolated, they hope daughters
will be an antidote to loneliness and a lifeline to the outside world.
"Girls are more cheerful," believes Okamoto. "Boys have
to get proper jobs; girls can live how they like and their parents and
society take a more lenient view."
But the desire for mother-daughter
relationships is just a different kind of sex discrimination, warns
Fukushima, which springs from the assumption that girls will be at their
parents’ beck-and-call. "Parents are proud of a son who works
hard. But since girls don’t have to work, they want them to be around
to help."
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