Sunday, May 20, 2001		Life Ties

MAYURI was thrilled to be singled out for a project while she was still in her final year of management. The exposure and remuneration were great even if it meant working 20 hours a day. The two months she spent there changed her perception about a professional career. She saw that in spite of women bagging top positions in academic institutions and being sincere and focused on their work, they were confined to lower and middle management slots. They often had to work in inconsequential departments where they could pose no threat to the mediocre male work force. She resolved to equip herself with the best skills and resources and was determined to get over the disadvantage of being born a woman. She had to get to the top with whatever it was that was needed.

She was awarded the trophy for all-round excellence. She had always been an achiever. Her classmates often wondered where she got her drive and energy from. Ashutosh, her soulmate, knew she was a cut above the rest but he also feared for her. He could see that her ambition was cold-blooded. Neither was he jealous, nor did he want to push her into making a commitment to him. He had a nagging feeling that she was going to alienate herself from the people around her. Never for a moment did he believe that an individual, howsoever different, intelligent or superior, could succeed in creating an island for himself and be happy in that.

The company she had done her project with offered her a job which she refused. She went through campus recruitments and to the shock of her classmates declined job offers because she was unwilling to compromise on the pay package. Her friends felt she was being too choosy and her long wish-list of preconditions at the beginning of her career were going to be a stumbling block. They advised her to soften her stance, tone down her aggression, learn the ropes, carve a niche before demanding the moon. But Mayuri was unwilling to settle for ‘lesser bargains’. If she had to survive in the male-dominated and controlled work arena, she was going to play the game by their rules from day one and make sure she came out on top.

She joined a leading finance company, impressing the interviewers with her sound financial understanding and judgement. Her presentation skills, imposing good looks and confidence were assets the company knew it could bank upon. When Mayuri got to know that her directors had seen an advantage in her ‘good looks’ she flew into a rage, determined to tone down her femininity. Her office wardrobe comprised severe business suits, no frill accessories and a ‘male’ briefcase. Her officious demeanour with colleagues was deliberate. She wasn’t a frivolous female who could be won over by a patronising attitude. She meant business and could be as ruthless and ambitious as her male colleagues. So, while others casually intermingled she allowed work to consume her. She wasn’t perturbed with her unidimensional ‘hard core professional’ image. If at all, it suited her. For didn’t she want to be right at the top in the shortest possible time ?

Her out-of-turn promotion was no surprise since she had posted excellent results. Her employers’ dependence on her was growing. Around this time her competitors who had just entered a foreign collaboration were head-hunting for someone to take charge of their India operations. Though Mayuri was young for the position, her career profile matched their expectations. She used her networking skills, sourced all information on the position, pulled a few important strings discreetly and made sure she was short-listed. Meanwhile, she found out who the other contenders were and very systematically set about eliminating them.

She had the unique distinction of being the youngest and only woman to bag such a senior position in a finance consultancy firm, sending ripples in the industry. The media hyped her achievement and she became a role model for aspiring women professionals. The story doing the rounds was if men could play power games and indulge in politicking so could women.

Interestingly, where Mayuri was concerned that the rumour mill didn’t thrive on slanderous gossip about her character or imagined sexual escapades, she was perceived as a focused, tough-nut-to-crack, no-nonsense professional. People talked about her ruthless decisions, cutting people to size, humiliating stalwarts and playing games with the smooth cleverness of a fox.

Not being married and having zero family/social life added to that image. Ashutosh knew she would never marry and he didn’t like to see the kind of person she was turning into. He decided to take a job offer in the Gulf. Mayuri was upset and angry but knew she had nothing to hold him back for. She didn’t give his departure much thought but did refrain from cultivating further relationships . She was convinced they were encumbrances. Besides, her work gave her all the fulfillment she needed. Or so she thought.

By the time she was 40 she had changed jobs, done a stint in Hong Kong and was back as Asia chief for an international bank. She had changed the perception of working women and was one of the most successful and highly-paid professional women in the world. She had shattered the glass ceiling long ago and lived to tell her saga which was not laced with bitter and cynical stories of how she had to get the better of the typical male mindset. Not for a single moment had she turned complacent. She had shunned people who weighed her down, plagued her with questions she didn’t want to answer, tried moralising and telling her what women ought to do. She knew she would die in her office with her feet up.

She bumped into Ashutosh many years later and was surprised to see that he hadn’t changed. He had retained the same boyish looks in spite of the slight greying at the temples which made him look devastatingly handsome. For a moment, she felt weak-kneed as an unfamiliar tingle of desire ran through her body. The very next instant, she was crestfallen and shocked to see that he hadn’t recognised her. Had she aged so much that he couldn’t place her ? When recognition dawned on him he was embarrassed and apologetic.

Once the ice thawed they chatted like old friends. She insisted that he spend the day with her even though she was busy. He watched her at work as she grabbed an hour here and an hour there to be with him, insisting all the while that he stay. He could see the wide-eyed look of her staff. They were gawking at him as if her was from outer space.

When they settled down finally at the end of the day, he admitted that she had indeed changed since the time he saw her 30 years ago. Though she was still a handsome 55-year-old, the facial lines and contours had changed. When she probed, curious to know more about him, since Ashutosh had always intuitively known and responded to the kind of person Mayuri was, he said, "Your softness has gone Mayuri and in its place there is a harsh look. But you have consciously cultivated this non-feminine image. Do you realise how abusive you have become ? Now when a person meets you, one does not register that it is a woman one is talking to. They admire you but they are also scared of you. I don’t think people come up to you to make inane conversation. Unless they have business to talk they wouldn’t come near arm’s length; unless they have a sensible project or proposal they wouldn’t dare take up your time. You have closed all other channels of communication. You have only one side to your persona and people see and respond to that. They don’t talk to you about their families, friends, parties, outings and other things which go into making lives normal and complete because they know you are ‘different’, that you wouldn’t participate and that you wouldn’t like it either. For too long they have left you alone because you insisted they do. You are not a pariah but you certainly don’t belong to their world. You are an outsider and they treat you as one. Of course, you are the epitome of success, wealth and power but would they like to trade places with you ? Chances are they wouldn’t."