Sunday, March 18, 2001		Life Ties

AJAY was what the doctors called a ‘hyper’ child. At three, matching his energy levels put the family in a frenzied state of nervous tension. He would jump from a flight of steps, climb up high on rooftops, mimic Michael Jackson’s break dance for hours, run out onto the streets and make friends with strangers. He was way ahead the rest of the class and walked away with all the drama, poetry recitation and art prizes. His landowner parents considered moving from Solan to Chandigarh, so as to be able to offer him facilities and exposure. Before their plans concretised, disaster struck. Ajay was on a bicycle around seven in the evening when a Mahindra jeep ran over him. His left leg was crushed to pulp and had to be amputated. The other multiple fractures took time to heal but the near irreversible damage to nerves and tissues stunted his physical growth.

For the Shyam Sunder family, priorities shifted to marrying off their three daughters. Ajay became a recluse who was left to fend for himself. He spent all his time poring over books and journals borrowed from libraries. No one was surprised when he won a scholarship for undergraduate study to the USA. In fact, they were a trifle relieved. At 18, he went to an alien land, confident of embracing a culture which would be friendlier than the one he was leaving behind. He did his doctorate in nuclear physics and joined the University as an Associate Professor.

Like a dutiful son, he called home regularly and made fleeting trips for his sisters’ weddings. He wasn’t keen on getting married but relatives felt that at 35, age was catching up and he ought to raise a family. When his father suffered a stroke, his sisters pressurised him to marry, if for no other reason than to bring home a bride who could take care of their aging and ailing parents. He was not sure if this was a bright idea. He had charted his life in a particular manner and didn’t want to make any changes. At the same time he knew that as the only son he had a responsibility towards his parents. There was a sense of guilt since he had chosen to live away, even though he used to send money diligently to compensate for his absence. Which is why he agreed to see the girls his sisters short-listed. He reasoned, "if the bride-to-be was agreeable to staying on in India, taking charge of his parents and having a non-resident husband, it was fine with him".

Kaveri was a simple girl from Faridkot. Her mother died when she was an infant and her father had turned an alcoholic. Her marriage was an expense which her heavily- in-debt brothers were not ready to bear. Kaveri feared she would die an unloved spinster. Which is why when Ajay’s eldest sister approached her directly with a marriage proposal, she jumped. The idea of marrying an NRI professor seemed exciting. When she met him he was sitting and his suave manners and gentle speech made her overlook his 4 feet 11 inches height, walking stick and disproportionate body. She knew about the accident and its implications but chose not to look objectively at what life after marriage would be. She was lost in visions of being the perfect daughter-in-law, of nurturing a loving relationship with her gentle husband and living happily ever after.

Kaveri’s brothers were dead against her marrying an invalid. Their denial made her all the more insistent. Within two days, the wedding was fixed and the bridal couple ‘dispatched’ to Kerala for their honeymoon. On their wedding night, the first thing that hit Kaveri was seeing that the bridegroom barely reached her shoulders. The realisation that she would have to take care of him and that he may never be able to physically protect her was disappointing but not devastating. The nightmare was yet to unfold. He was a sadomasochist who got a perverse thrill out of enacting sequences from blue films and pornographic magazines. While Kaveri was a small-town girl who was not particularly well educated on carnal pleasures she did know that there was something horribly abnormal with her husband. Intimidated by him, and the fact that they were in an alien land she suffered quietly dreading physical proximity and desperate to get back home.

They returned and he left for the USA. She tried to put her honeymoon behind her and got down to the task of looking after her in-laws convincing herself that once she joined Ajay things would fall into place. What happened in Kerala was perhaps an aberration. Months flew by. Ajay called every Sunday but his conversations were monosyllabic. She had taken charge of the household, though gaps were constantly pointed out. Her in-laws’ over protectiveness put embargoes on her movements. They checked and cross-checked where she went, who she met and what she spoke with the few friends who visited her. They insisted that she conduct herself with propriety. Her suggestion that she should join a computer course was trashed. The final straw came when they linked her name with Ajay’s brother-in-law and exaggerated this ‘over friendliness’ to Ajay. Coming from a family which prided itself on its modernity and with two daughters married to foreigners, this seemed a dichotomy.

A year went by and it was time for Ajay to come for a week. Kaveri’s hopes were raised. Maybe her visa would get finalised and she would fly across the seven seas to set up her new home. This time they went to Goa. She was hoping to find Ajay tender in his lovemaking, but was shocked to find him more violent and ‘experimental’ than before. She tried diverting his mind by talking about joining him in Los Angeles, which he was evasive about. Her doubts were getting confirmed that perhaps he didn’t want her there at all. No wonder, like other normal husbands he neither pined for her nor had any real romantic notions. On the third day, she found the courage to stop his sexual overtures. She demanded to be taken back home. Seeing her steely confidence, Ajay was stumped and a little shaken. They cut short their vacation and flew back.

She was not to be placated. She wanted to get to the bottom of this. While dusting the neglected corners of the house she had come across a faded photograph of a younger looking Ajay and a girl in her bridal finery. It couldn’t be a college drama, she knew there were more skeletons in the cupboard. She called up her brothers and for the first time summoned them with authority and got the entire family to sit together, before firing her salvos. Was he married before ? Did the first wife dump him because she was disgusted with his perverse sexual behaviour ? Did Ajay marry her with the intent of keeping her as an unpaid housekeeper cum nurse ? She expected the silence that met her. She now told them that she had decided to walk out, unless he decided to see a doctor for his psychiatric problem and acknowledge her as his wife. When there was resistance on this too, she picked up her suitcase, held her head high and walked out. Her brothers were amazed at where their lil’ sister had found so much grit and bravado. Was it for real ? They told her that they would get back at the Shyam Sunders and make sure they compensated for every tear she had shed, but Kaveri told them to let be. She felt they had enough suffering ahead of them. If at all they had to do anything, it would be towards rehabilitating her. She was going to audition for the new Punjabi channel being launched from the city and was confident of making it. She told them that they would have to support her till she found her wings and took flight.

Something had snapped inside. Her girlish visions of a fairytale world where she had a passive role to play had given way to an adult who had turned into a level-headed fighter and survivor.