Sunday, February 18, 2001		Stressbusters

WE can define a low-stress relationship as one in which two people can deal with each other effectively in such a way that each meets his own needs — of whatever type — without jeopardising the needs of the other and without causing undue tension or anxiety for either party.

Many managers feel that the way to get a lot of work out of their employees is to "keep the pressure on".

This kind of thinking leads to coercive style of management rather than the facilitative style.

Employees who are subjected to continuing levels of pressure that go beyond their "challenge" levels into their "discomfort" levels will sooner or later show the effects of the pressure in stress-reactive behaviour.

Human beings in any organisation need a certain level of pressure to function together.

Without some reason for action, some common purpose, sense of necessity, or sense of obligation, they do not really constitute an organisation.

One of the functions of an effective manager is to impose a carefully controlled amount of constructive pressure on the members of the organisation. Very few people resent being held accountable for reasonable performance, within reasonable constraints of time and resources.

A more enlightened method of deploying authority is to apply and maintain a comfortable level of pressure — a level that the employees find demanding and challenging but not threatening or overly stressful.

Remember that no matter how carefully one tries to put the employee at ease, he seldom forgets one key fact: You are the boss.

One of the simplest and most reliable ways to help employees stay within their comfort zones of pressure, workload and accountability is to define their jobs as clearly as possible.

A person who understands his job thoroughly, knows clearly what results constitute high performance becomes self motivating and self monitoring.

Some managers adopt the style of managing by reward.

Some prefer to manage by coercion. The message is: "Be careful how you deal with me: Remember that I have means to punish".

The boss who says, "I don’t get ulcers- I give ‘em!" is telling that he does not manage. He bullies.

Monopolising the conversation.

Interrupting.

Showing obvious disinterest.

Keeping a sour facial expression.

Withholding customary social cues such as greetings, nods, and the like.

Using non-verbal put-downs.

Insulting or otherwise verbally abusing others.

Speaking dogmatically; not respecting others’ opinions.

Criticising excessively; fault finding.

Ridiculing others.

Patronising or talking down to others.

Making others feel guilty.

Losing one’s temper frequently or easily.

Overusing "should" language; pushing others with words.

Disagreeing routinely.

Asking loaded or accusing questions.

Overusing "why" questions.

Bragging; showing off; talking only about self.

Giving others a chance to express views.

Giving positive non-verbal messages of acceptance and respect for others.

Praising and complimenting others sincerely.

Expressing respect for values and opinions of others.

Talking positively and constructively.

Stating one’s needs and desires honestly.

Staying on the conversational topic until others have been heard.

Questioning others openly and honestly.

Asking straightforward, non- loaded questions.

Keeping the confidences of others.

Giving one’s word sparingly and keeping it.

Joking constructively and in good humour.

Expressing genuine interest in the other person.

To what extent do people voluntarily seek me out?

To what extent do they take the initiative in contacting me, communicating with me, sharing ideas and viewpoints with me and including me in their personal and social activities?

The answer to those questions will give you the clearest possible indication of whether your management style is primarily that of a punisher or rewarder.

Over a long term, a rewarding style of dealing with others tends to:

— Keep your own stress score at a minimum;

— help others to do the same;

— make work life pleasant, enjoyable;

— achievement oriented process.

Every work group has a well-defined social climate. It is the sum of the relationships among the various members — including its leader. The members both establish this climate and are influenced strongly by it. When all or most of the members of the work group experience their mutual relationships as being fairly cordial, cooperative, constructive and emotionally satisfying, then they have created a low-stress working climate.

Experience has shown again and again that the best ideas do not always come from the most vocal members of a problem-solving group. Many good ideas have gone unappreciated simply because the shy person who sat there thinking while the others were talking didn’t have the courage to speak up and no one else had the presence of mind to invite him to do so.

A good general approach to minimising conflict and resolving the conflicts that do occur consists of the following three basis steps:

1. Establish and maintain a low-conflict, low stress climate, with cooperation being the general norm.

2. Isolate each significant conflict that does arise to a single, specific task issue or family of issues. Don’t accept personality clashes.

3. Help the protagonists to apply a rational problem solving model or procedure to the issue.