Hot phone

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?"

"The fool called back!"

Some respect

TWO guys were out on the golf course. As one of them was teeing off at the 10th hole, which was next to the highway, he saw a funeral precession go by. Instead of teeing off, the guy removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.

The other guy said, "You know, that was the most touching thing I’ve ever seen."

The first guy answered, "Well, I was married to her for 15 years. It was the least I could do!"

Break in

A man went to the police station, wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You’ll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!"

Alligator shoes

A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices. "I’ll just catch my own alligator," she told one

shopkeeper, "so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp. Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.

She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.

"Oh, no!" the blonde shouted in dismay. "This one isn’t wearing any shoes either!"

These jokes have been culled from various sites of the Net by Sunil Sharma