Bad luck

THE woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "My dearest, you have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you’re bad luck."

SHAKEY went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "please help me, I’m going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the psychiatrist. "Come to me three times a week, and I’ll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I’ll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn’t you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck’s a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’?"

He replied, "No, there is a whole series of fairy tales that begin with ‘If elected I promise’."

Culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil Sharma