AS an avid Pakistani watcher who bears nothing but goodwill towards the country and its people, I continue to be disturbed by the increasing influence of religious intolerance in the country. We are witnessing the same thing happening in India. Religious bigotry in one country begets counter bigotry among its neighbours who do not share the same faith. Pakistan is almost entirely Muslim. We are predominantly Hindu with a sprinkling of Muslims, Christians, Sikhs and others.

Pakistan has declared itself an Islamic state, we declared ourselves a secular state. But our secularism is very seriously eroded by resurgent Hindu fanaticism. It derives sustenance from the growing anti-Hindu feeling in Pakistan.

Whenever I meet friends from Pakistan, I question them on the menacing increase of religious fundamentalism through madrasas and mullahs. They assure me they are of marginal importance in the politics of the country. I feel they deliberately understate the role of mullahs to assuage my fears. There are an estimated one million boys between the ages of eight and 30 years in about 10,000 madrasas.

The largest and the most important of these is the Haqqania on the Grand Trunk Road, not far from Peshawar. It has 28,000 boys who are taught nothing except the Koran, Hadith (sayings of the Prophet) and the world-view of Islam which can be briefly summed up as — all non-Muslims are the enemies of Islam and it is legitimate to wage holy war (jehad) against them. No arithmetic, no science, no geography, nothing but their own religion. Their living hero is Osama Bin Laden who is doing precisely that. Enemies of Islam, as they see them, are Christians (crusaders), the Jewish state of Israel, Russia because of its warring against Chechen Muslims and India because it is Hindu and it has in its occupation Kashmir. Madrasa boys come from the poorest of the poor homes of Pakistan where they are not assured of even one square meal a day. Parents are eager to put them in madrasas where they are clothed and fed twice a day for eight years. Younger boys are often locked up or their legs shackled lest they run away. After a while they get used to the iron discipline of rising daily at 4.30 am, going to the mosque for namaaz five times a day. They learn the Koran and the Hadith by rote. They are allowed to play volleyball or cricket in the evenings. After eight years in the madrasas, these boys are fit only for certain jobs like becoming mullahs of mosques, teachers in madrasas or getting military training and engaging themselves in jehad. If they fail in battle, they achieve shahaadat (martyrdom) and are assured of a better life in paradise.

It is very difficult for a non-Muslim to enter a madrasa. However, Jeffrey Goldberg of The New York Times, a Jew, managed to get admission to the Haqqania. He interacted with other students and his mullah instructors; he travelled to Kandhar which has become a Taliban stronghold in Afghanistan. He joined General Parvez Musharraf at the Yaum-e-Takbeer, to celebrate the anniversary of Pakistan’s nuclear detonation. The General, though a westernised whisky-drinking, dog-loving man of liberal views regarding the status of women, has sneaking sympathy with the Taliban and Osama bin Laden. The General called Pakistan’s involvement in Kashmir a jehad. Goldberg comments: "The jehad in Kashmir is of great help to General Musharraf. In a fractious country like Pakistan, the jehad in Kashmir unifies people the way no other issue does. And so the military junta has given wide berths of jehad groups training in Pakistani soil". There are other Pakistanis who have held high positions in government who hold strong anti-Indian views. General Hamid Gul, former head of Pakistani Intelligence Agency, said: "AIPA (the pro-Israeli lobby in America), the Jews and the Brahmins have a lot in common". Goldberg asked, "Like what?" The General replied, "Usury" (sood-khoree) — extracting exorbitant interest on loans.

With such a large section of Pakistanis, including men who matter, harbouring such strong and unethical prejudices against Indians, mainly Hindus, the chances of rapprochement between India and Pakistan appear very bleak.

Moving & shaking with Shekhar Suman

Still no news about Bal Thackeray’s arrest. But lots of rumours. The Rapid Action Force and some detachments of the Army have arrived in Mumbai. I have to go to Andheri to be made fun of by Shekhar Suman of Movers & Shakers, and on to Santa Cruz airport. The route passes through Shiv Sena-dominated areas. I keep my fingers crossed. The driver of my taxi is a bearded Muslim, named Ayub. His home was wrecked by Shiv Sainiks following the destruction of the Babri Masjid. I ask him if the roads will be safe. "There is tanav, but I have not heard of any incident of violence", he replied. "Don’t worry, you are safe with me; I will look after you". He should be more worried than I. He gets me to Soni Studios in Andheri in record time. Anjana Kuthiala (once Miss India), who is to appear with me on the show, and her husband are already there. Shekhar Suman escorts me to the studio. He’s a tall, handsome Bihari who graduated from a Delhi college, got a diploma in acting from the Shri Ram Centre and went to Bombay to try his luck. It was tough going. There were days he did not have money to buy provisions. He started his film career with Shashi Kapoor, went to Amitabh Bachchan

and is now a superstar in his own right. He now grosses around Rs 5 lakh per day. I was warned that he has a malicious sense of humour, a ready wit and scares off people he interviews. I am determined not to let him get away with it. He hints about

Sardarji jokes which I manufacture myself. I tell him that only people with self-confidence that Sardars have can laugh at themselves. Biharis don’t have that kind of self-confidence. They come to Punjab in thousands to find work. He tries another angle: "Biharis are poor, so they have to go out to fill their bellies". I agree. "That’s right. Have you ever seen a Sardarji stretch out his hands to ask for alms? We’d rather rob than beg". That roused a lot of laughter. The interview goes very well. Anjana Kuthiala is ushered in: all smiles and sequins. She is a compulsive giggler. So Suman gets a laugh by telling her not to laugh too much. I’ve done my part and Anjana her’s.

I leave for the airport. Ayub did not have to do anything to protect me from Shiv Sainiks. There were none to be seen on the road. Some years ago, Bal Thackeray threatened to have me beaten up and taken to Bombay Hospital. His goons contented themselves by making my effigy and beating it with their chappals. That did not hurt me. However, visits to Mumbai have become a hassle. I am tense when I arrive and relieved when I depart.

* Finally you can eat dinner at 4 p.m.

* Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

* Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

* It’s harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

* If you’ve never smoked, you can start now and it won’t have time to hurt you.

* People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

* Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

* Your eyes won’t get much worse.

* Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.

* Things you buy now won’t wear out.

* No one expects you to run into a burning building.

* There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

* In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

(Contributed by Amir Tuteja, Washington DC)