Sunday, August 13, 2000		Article

HUMOUR is a scarce commodity in India. People have so many dukhras here that they think that humour, like Kentucky Fried Chicken, is something alien. The Prime Minister once thought that if we could import onions in times of hardship and scarcity why could we not import humour. He called a meeting of the GoM concerned GoM stands for ‘Group of Ministers’ which make decisions on behalf of the PM, with the PM himself abstaining from the meeting. It was a special case of importing humour, so the PM presided over the assemblage of the Home Minister, the Defence, the Railways, and the Finance Minister.

The PM placed his viewpoint straight, "I find that our country is gradually losing humour. People used to smile at my twists earlier, but today, they just do not bother. Film star Govinda used to provide some humour, but even his comedy appears stale now. The public of India and the print media are also not favourably inclined to humour. In a get together at Preeni of Kullu, I read serious poems, not humorous. I wonder what could be done to encourage people to accept humour as a way of life. There is a suggestion to import it from abroad. Countries, which are rich in humour, such as Britain, may be asked to export it. Bill Clintonji who is humour personified may also come to our help."

"I agree with Atalji that humour is gradually vanishing from Home," said the Home Minister, but I have my reservations to importing it. Humour has to be ‘swadeshi’. Coffeehouses, in the past, used to be the cradle of humour. I walked to the coffeehouse in Shimla, leaving my security wonder struck, just to find out the level of humour among common people. I didn’t find any coffeehouse there.

"Armed Forces still have moments of humour with them, came in the Defence Minister. When I asked an officer of the paratroops, What made you to decide to be a paratrooper? He replied, A plane with three dead engines." (All looked towards the PM. His lips broadened indicating a smile. Others too followed him.) But believe me, there is a danger. (A grave silence fell upon GoM.)

"Look at my trains", exclaimed the Railway Minister, "What are they? Cleanliness-wise: punctuality-wise: catering-wise or facility-wise—they are a big joke. But people, instead of laughing, send a pile of complaints to the Ministry. And why not? As long as there is a chief minister like Jyoti Basu, who does not even smile, nothing is going to improve. Impose President’s Rule in West Bengal, and then humour will regain its lost glory.

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you; /Weep, and you weep alone" is a well-known quote by Wilcox, interjected the Finance Minister "And I fully endorse the view of the PM that time has come to import humour, otherwise we shall have to weep alone. Our countrymen have lost that touch of humour that they used to have during the time of T.T. Krishnamachari’s FM-ship. Today, they start crying as soon as I finish my budget speech in Parliament, whereas I always try to keep myself on the tracks (or traps?) laid by the IMF or World Bank. I assure you, worthy PM, that if humour is imported, I shall restrict duty on it to a minimum. But if the H.M’s proposal of ‘Swadeshi’ humour finds favour with the Government then I shall not subsidise it.

"I have heard your views," said the PM, I shall, now, ask Brajesh Mishraji to prepare a draft on these lines. Yes, I will ask him to put up a smiling, viewer’ friendly face before the media when he tells them about our decision about importing, humour, otherwise sister Mamta will demand his ouster too."