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Caught between two worlds REFER to the article "Caught between two worlds" (July 30) by Raman Mohan. I agree with the author’s viewpoint that even highly educated girls don’t have any say at the time of their marriage in Haryana and Punjab. But it is not correct to lay the entire blame at the door of parents with a rural background. The middle class and even the elite, settled in cities have a conservative approach towards marriage. In Haryana and Punjab, intercaste marriages are solemnised rarely and that too by the social activists and academicians who have some sort of ideological commitment in their lives. Peasants, businessmen and petty employees and top bureaucrats marry their progeny only within their castes. I am not convinced by the author’s inference that the middle class families settled permanently in cities are in any way more progressive in ideas and thought than those who have recently raised their houses in cities but remain in touch with their rural backgrounds. In fact, all the major cities in Haryana are only semi-urban areas and the caste consciousness is acute everywhere. The Jats, Punjabis, Sikhs and Ahirs maintain their exclusive social and ethnic identity and remain conservative despite their university and college education. Those who are educated in convent schools become modern only in dress and mannerism but their mindset does not undergo any significant change. The western education makes them selfish and opportunistic. Every convent-educated boy or girl cannot be said to be progressive. But I support the author’s main observation that highly educated youths should have the freedom to choose their life partners. But the ground reality is that our modern life values — which are on offshoot of college and university education — are in direct opposition to our social assumptions. RAJ BAHADUR YADAV |
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II The writer has very effectively illustrated the problem of many young people who find themselves caught between two almost diametrically opposed worlds, two sets of alien values, two intrinsically different perspective on life. Throughout their formative years, teens and early twenties, they get the best, the most sophisticated sort of education in premiere institutes where they absorb a different set of values and develop their personalities, in keeping with the brave new world and its liberal attitude, only to be plunged back into the vortex of the rigid environs and thoroughly conservative way of life where they are denied any say in the most important decision of their lives, i.e., with whom will they spend the rest of their lives. After such a progressive education which moulds their thinking pattern and perspective on life, it becomes very difficult for them to fit into the obsolete mould which they thought belonged to the previous generations only. It invariably results in friction, dissatisfaction and depression. Both rural and urban parents frequently act in this way because while the children come across a new set of values and absorb them, the parents are not exposed to the values of the changing world. That is why it is imperative that even in the premiere educational institutes, specially residential ones, parents should be involved in the development of children. There should be more frequent meetings between teachers and parents and more friendly get-togethers, so that the attitudes and perspectives of parents also undergo a gradual and healthy transformation. Then the two generations will not stare at each other like cultural strangers, but will understand each other better. When the parents spend so much money and effort on the education of their children, let it not result in friction and heartburn, but in happiness, pride and satisfaction for both. AMRITPAL TIWANA Tired all the time? Apropos of A.J. Singh’s article, "Do you feel tired all the time?" (July 23), people who are in the habit of sitting in one posture continuously run the risk of feeling tired all the time. Those who do not exercise become lazy, inactive and lethargic. Regular physical exercise keeps a person energetic and active the whole day. Exercise improves the quality of sleep, thereby reducing fatigue. Some problems of the nervous system or wrong breathing habits can also cause fatigue. Persons suffering from depression lose interest in every activity, have poor appetite and suffer from fatigue. If a person is not taking a proper and balanced diet, he may feel tired all the time. AVINASH BHASKAR Moulding destiny After reading Taru Bahl’s write-up "Destiny is a matter of choice" (June 23), I am reminded of the words of William Longgood, "Dreams and dedication are a powerful combination". Indeed, nothing is impossible to a willing heart and mind. Author Milton Berle has also rightly remarked, "If opportunity does not knock, build a door". ROSHNI JOHAR II Although it is a well-established fact that destiny is not a matter of chance but a matter of choice, yet most of us resign ourselves to our fate and succumb to the twists and turns of events. We do not work hard to achieve our goal. It is important to have faith in God but it is equally important to carve out our own destinies. SUBHASH TANEJA |
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