What Mrs A said to Mrs B about Mrs C
By G.V. Joshi

EVERYONE knows what gossip is but many would find it hard to define. A psychologist, Dr Martin Grotjahn of the USA, had a benign view of gossip when he defined it as, "An instrument of free expression and free communication, which forms an integral part of our democratic way of life."

Noted poet and critic W.H. Auden similarly observed, "Gossip in its true and undefiled sense is nourishment from the good earth of the doings of people. Gossip stems from an interest in others." Auden added, "When that interest is lacking, much of the salt of life is gone."

Most people like to gossip, to exchange news about the coming and goings of others and to chat about the interesting things that happen to people they know. At almost every place people meet — over the back fence, over the telephone, in the lunch room, during coffee or tea breaks at the office, in the canteen — a majority of them love to regale themselves with the latest thing that happened to Mr so-and-so or what Mrs A said to Mrs B.

Public opinion surveys have shown that the topic that most people regard as most interesting than any other is human behaviour. What others say and what others do, and their idiosyncrasies are most important for all of us. We also tend to compare our behaviour with theirs.

A number of psychologists, psychiatrists and sociologists who have carried out an analysis of the subject have concluded that gossip except when excessively or vindictively indulged in is good for us. Gossip makes a person more balanced. It has a beneficial effect on mental health and emotional adjustment. Another psychologist has noted that gossiping provides a valuable release from inner tensions. It benefits the personality and promotes emotional stability by serving as an outlet for many drives and conflicts in life.

According to an anthropologist who has studied the effects of gossip, gossip serves as a "safety valve" for the emotions and provides a release for psychic tensions. The happiest and best adjusted people enjoy exchanging gossip and do so in moderation. The least happy and the most poorly adjusted either carry the practice to extremes, or do not gossip at all.

What is the effect of gossip on those who are talked about? It depends upon whether the gossip is harmless or vindictive. But even when gossip is not harmless, it has a constructive effect on social behaviour. The threat of public disapproval as expressed in gossip keeps many persons from indulging in irresponsible or anti-social behaviour.

But gossiping can be dangerous at times. Countless lives are damaged and untold misery is caused by malicious gossip based upon unverified facts. Almost every one of us has suffered from it at one time or the other. And yet many of us continue to talk irresponsibly about other people. Hate, fear, envy or the desire to seem important motivates most people who resort to defamatory gossip.

How fast does gossip travel? A professor told six of his students in strict confidence that the President of India was likely to address the forthcoming university convocation. A survey one week later showed that the completely fictitious story had reached about 2,000 students. The police authorities had called university administrators, demanding to know why they had not been informed of the President’s visit. This was a harmless piece of gossip. Slanderous gossip travels even faster.

Almost all of us have been carriers of unverified gossip, at one time or the other. It is fun to gossip but you must not cross the dividing line between harmless and malicious gossip. In any case malicious gossip should not be spread. Request a friend who spreads malicious gossip about a common friend to accompany you to the home of that person for verification.

A social worker suggested a simple method to handle malicious gossip. She said, "When you hear an ill-report about some one, cut it into half. Cut it into two more parts and say nothing about the quarter." In essence, he said: Do not spread harmful gossip any further.

We would all be better off, if we exercised intelligent control over our tongues.