Sunday, January 9, 2000		Article

What a state of affairs !
By Vimla Patil

If TV serials are any social barometer, marital infidelity must be rampant in India. However, cinema is still goody-goody with heroes and heroines swearing by undying and loyal love. Are TV serials harming our culture by showing the other side of the man-woman relationship? Do they poison young minds in India?

HINDI films and television serials seem to be going in exactly opposite directions in recent years. While the superhit megamovies of the nineties idealise love and undying faithfulness on the part of young lovers, popular TV serials show that all is not well with the marriage system in India. In particular, three TV serials are shocking viewers who consider that love and passion between married men and unmarried women or the rebellion of a neglected wife or the grief and anger of a cheated wife are harmful to society’s well-being when shown explicitly on the television screen. Viewers who throng theatres to see films like Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam or Taal seem to feel that fidelity, family togetherness and freedom only within limits are the highlights of Indian culture and must be preserved at any cost. At the same time, a successful movie like Biwi No. 1 has attracted women’s wrath for portraying a marriage where the husband has an extra-marital affair while the loyal wife tries many tricks to win and woo him back!

Let’s examine the conventional view first. Arguably the most successful of the three serials which show marital disharmony and infidelity is Saans. It is made by Neena Gupta, and is seen as ‘bold’ by many. However, it is considered bold not because the hero — Kanwaljeet — has an extra-marital affair with Kavita Kapoor but more because Neena Gupta, the long-suffering wife, does not forgive him or accept his infidelity like a "good Indian wife". This means that the fear of the conservative public is not about men having affairs outside their marriages, but about wives becoming rebellious and rejecting a marriage which is hopeless, insulting and humiliating. As Neena Gupta, herself a mother of an out-of-wedlock child, says "When I play Priya, the loyal wife in Saans, thousands of women in India identify with me and my difficult predicament. Saans has only shown what is true in Indian society. To pretend that Indian husbands are loyal and faithful and do not stray from the correct path is to present hogwash to the public. For centuries, men everywhere — and so too in India — have had extra-marital affairs and kept mistresses. Otherwise, how could the rampant flesh trade in the world flourish over so many centuries? How could there be 86 lakh bigamous, illegal marriages every year in India?

"How can reality damage our culture? How can youth go astray if young men are forewarned about the consequences of fooling around in marriage? Why shouldn’t women learn that only a clear self identity and confidence in self can give them a good future? Why do they "die" after 35 and lose interest in themselves? I would say our media is still comparatively conservative. No serial has yet shown a wife having an affair because a husband is boring or old. No wife is seen to be attracted to a handsome lover. I feel our society expects women to be modest and chaste. Any story which shows them otherwise will be frowned upon. Women have to be sacrificing, forgiving, peaceful and patient. But this facade will not last long if the present unjust situation continues forever."

Asha Parekh’s Kora Kagaz is yet another serial which centres around a betrayed wife who turns rebellious. Having been a lover-girl herself in her heyday, Parekh must know what insecurity such a woman can suffer. Renuka Shahane, in Kora Kagaz faces an unforeseen situation. Her bridegroom vanishes from the house on her wedding night, leaving her neither married nor unmarried. The attitudes of her in laws and parental family are a mix of Indian views on family life and show the complexity of modern times as well as women’s position and status in the institution of family. Renuka Shahane is a divorcee herself and has been brought up by her single parent divorcee mother Shanta Gokhale. It is not surprising that she plays Pooja, the betrayed heroine of Kora Kagaz, with an admirable degree of fire and brimstone. The question is what really would a woman do if she is ditched by a stupid husband on her wedding night because he is in love with another woman? Why did he marry under pressure in the first place and ruin an innocent life?

These and similar other questions remain like neon-lights flickering in the darkness of social injustice and despicable double standards for women. Would Indian society accept a woman who runs away to her lover on her wedding night? And would her parents stand by her with sympathy and support? Not likely, say activists and reformists!

The heroine of Heena is still a little gentle and decorative. She feels cheated because her bridegroom too marries her under pressure when he has a woman in his life already. He gives in to parental pressure and ends up ruining the life of a woman who has done him no wrong. The rebellion and courage of conviction shown by a Muslim girl is shown to advantage in this serial. But how the plot eventually develops is yet to be seen on the TV screen.

Now, there is ‘admittedly’ a section of society which believes that such serials should not be shown on TV because they show the seamy side of life. They promote rebellion among women. They support marital disharmony and "give ideas" to the young and inexperienced. Such serials, say conservative people, are against Indian culture and their effect on young people could be disastrous. Yet others — specially women — say that at last now women are seeing their reality portrayed on the TV screen with some honesty. While women still largely observe the rules laid down by society and uphold the values of monogamy in matrimony, men have remained free and continue to defy all rules and are be-imaan even to themselves, they say.

The general opinion is that these serials, as well as those which show women’s revenge for dowry harassment or ill treatment by in laws or husbands, are only symptomatic of the coming age. They are the warning lights which tell men that unless they are sincere and honest in their relationships with women, trouble will certainly follow. Society has put a lid on women’s feelings of anger and frustration for too long. Their tolerance level and willingness to compromise has reduced in direct proportion to men’s continued licentious behaviour and neglect of women’s feelings. Education and economic independence among a large number of women as well as consciousness-raising efforts of activists and government agencies and policies have prompted women to reject pointless relationships and opt out of humiliating marriages.

However bitter this truth may be and however tough hard-liners in society may act to preserve the hypocrisy of present-day marriages through the media, the question which will trouble our collective social conscience will be: How long will the light of truth be hidden by the darkness of injustice? How long will women remain satvik devis to cover up social evils? How long will our culture demand that women sacrifice their lives on its altar and give up their right to dignity so that the male-dominated society can continue to enjoy its privileges?