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| Sunday, January 8, 2000 |
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ON a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied "I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what should he do. The captain said, "I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn’t anyone just say so?" |
| Surprised, the flight attendant and the
co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced
her to move from her seat. He said, "I told her the
first class section wasn’t going to New York." My goldfish died Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I’ve just buried him." The neighbour was concerned, "That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That’s because he’s inside your stupid cat." What to cook? Betty and Bob have been
back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Bob came
home from work saying he’d invited four friends from
the office home for dinner on Friday. Betty is a bit
apprehensive as she asks if she must cook a meal for them
all. Bob explains that there will actually be eight
coming, as each has a spouse or date. Since this is her
first party, he consoles her by saying that all she has
to do is get some Chinese food in and perhaps she can
bake a cake. This sounds like a good idea, and they sit
down and decide what Chinese food to get. Friday morning
wife calls the office in tears. She explains that the
only cake recipe she has will only feed six. Hubby says,
"why don’t you just double the recipe?"
She decides that is a good idea. At four, hubby gets
another phone call — this time quite frantic."I
just can’t do it," his wife weeps. "Now, now, what’s the matter?" "Well, their recipe calls for two eggs..." "So, you use four eggs. Don’t you have them? "Yes — then it needs 4 cups of flour."" "Well," Bob says rather testily, "you will have to use 8 cups of flour — what is the problem?" "It isn’t the ingredients," Betty cries, "it says that the cake must be baked at 350 degrees and I have checked the oven and I can’t turn the heat up to 700 degrees!" (These jokes have been culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil Sharma) |
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