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Net
picking
Young
couple
THERE was a young couple, very
much in love, who the night before they were to be
married, were both tragically killed in an automobile
accident.
They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being
escorted in by St. Peter. After a couple of weeks in
heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside and
said, "St. Peter, my fiancee and I are very happy to
be in heaven but we miss very much the opportunity to
have celebrated our wedding vows. Is it possible for
people in heaven to get married?"
St. Peter looked at him and said, "Im sorry,
Ive never heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get
married. Im afraid youll have to talk to the
Lord God Almighty about that. I can get you an
appointment for two weeks from Wednesday."
Came the appointed day, the couple were escorted by the
guardian angels into the presence of the Lord God
Almighty, where they repeated the request. The Lord
looked at them solemnly and said, "I tell you what,
wait five years and if you still want to get married,
come back and we will talk about it again."
Well, five years went by, and the couple still very much
wanting to get married, came back. Again the Lord God
Almighty said, "Please you must wait another five
years and then I will consider your request."
Finally, they come before the Lord God Almighty the third
time, ten years after their first request, and ask the
Lord again. This time the Lord answered, "Yes, you
may marry. This Saturday at 2:00 p.m., we will have a
beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The reception will
be on me!"
The wedding went beautifully, all the guests thought the
bride was beautiful. Moses brought some flowers from the
Nile River. But, you guessed it, the couple was married
but a few weeks when they realised they had made a
horrible mistake, they just couldnt stay married to
one another. So they made another appointment to see the
Lord God Almighty, this time to ask if they could get a
divorce in heaven. When the Lord heard their request, he
looked at them and said, "Look, it took us ten years
to find a priest up here in heaven. Do you have any idea
how long itll take to find a lawyer?"
Sherlock
Holmes
Sherlock Holmes and DR
Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a
bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to
sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his
faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and
tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I
see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that
tell you?"
Watson pondered for a
minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I
observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce
that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see
that God is all powerful and that we are small and
insignificant.
Meteorologically, I
suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell
you?"
Holmes was silent for a
minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has
stolen our tent."
(These jokes have been
culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil
Sharma)
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